On the other hand, he wasn't the only one who found the nighttime solitude conducive to working. Josh and Sam both tended to work late when there was something that needed to be done, and that interfered with his enjoyment.
This particular night, Josh was being good. He had piles of research to look at and, other than occasional manic forays into the Communications offices, he was being quiet. Sam, on the other hand, had picked up the annoying habit of not only turning on his portable stereo, but cranking it up loud.
Toby was not adverse to music. In fact, he liked to have his own radio on and playing softly as he worked. Sam's habit would not have been quite so annoying if he actually played something good.
Of late, however, he seemed to have developed a fondness for Celine Dion. Toby liked a couple of her songs the first time he'd heard them, was indifferent the tenth time and ready to strangle Sam the hundredth time they played.
"Toby?" Josh was at his door, looking harried. "Why haven't you killed Sam yet?"
"Pardon?" Toby looked up and pulled the earbugs from his walkman out of his ears.
"I said, why haven't you killed him yet?" Josh jerked his head towards Sam's office. "If I hear 'My heart goes on' one more time, my own heart won't take it."
"I can't kill him." Toby said solemnly.
"Why not?"
"Because Leo made me promise not to. A murder charge wouldn't look good on my resume and Leo wouldn't write me a good recommendation."
"I would." Josh replied promptly. "Jesus, Sam, turn that shit down!"
The volume decreased abruptly, although both men could still hear the high notes.
"He's got to stop playing that CD." Josh sighed. "I hear those songs in my sleep. In French. Could we declare war on Canada for letting her record music?"
"That might not be a good idea. They kicked our asses in the War of 1812." Toby pointed out thoughtfully.
"They did not."
"Sure they did. They burned down this very building." Toby replied. "We won the treaty negotiations, but we didn't win the war itself."
"So invading Canada is out, then."
"I'm afraid so."
"So if we can't murder Sam and we can't invade Canada, what can we do?"
"We can give Sam a taste of his own medicine." Toby informed him.
---------------------
Sam turned the CD player up a half notch as he stretched. His computer pinged to let him know he had mail. Tapping a few keys, he found a message from Toby.
"Great. First the bell, then the balls and now he's sending me snarky email." Sam said aloud. Still, he opened the message and read it.
"Sam - open the file attachment and make sure your sound card is running. You might like this. - Toby"
Curious, Sam opened the file. A strain of music sounded and the song began.
"I think I got a crush
On Celine Dion.
The way she beats her chest
When she sings a love song.
There's something about her,
Makes me want to feed her
And I'd love to be Mister Celine Dion."
Sam turned red and hit the key to stop it. Less than a moment later, his email program pinged again. This time it was from Josh, also with a file attachment.
"She'll sing a song in English,
Then she'll sing en francais.
Both the songs will suck,
But I love her anyway.
She's full of emotion,
I'm full of devotion
For Celine, and I'll be hers some day."
Sam, furious, got up and stalked into Toby's office. Toby was sitting there, placidly writing.
"You wanted something?"
"What the hell is that idiotic stuff you sent me?"
"A tribute to your favourite singer, Sam. I found it on the internet." Toby leaned back and hit a button on his own computer and the song started up again.
"Oh Celine Dion, you soft rock my world
Won't you please be my Celine?
I'd do anything if you'd be my girl,
Oh be my girl, Celine..."
"Toby..."
"Shhh. Listen." Toby advised, with a small smile.
"I send you cards and letters,
But you don't respond.
You play hard to get,
But my heart goes on and on.
I just want to say,
Je vous aimerais,
And I can see your house from my van."
Sam walked out as the chorus started again, this time looking for Josh.
"Josh, do you know what sort of crap Toby's sending me?" Sam demanded.
"Shh. I just found this really neat download." Josh waved his hands. "Listen."
"Her skin's so soft and clean,
Just like porcelain.
I wish she'd slather me
With a tub of Vaseline.
That was a little creepy.
I'm sorry, Celine, Celine
Celine... Dion."
"Josh, that isn't funny." Sam protested, red in the face.
"Actually, it is pretty funny." Josh grinned. "The tune's pretty catchy."
"No, it is not." Sam said stiffly. "I get the message, Josh. I'll turn it down, okay? Just stop torturing me with stupid songs off the internet."
---------------------
Sam went back to his office and turned the music on again, this time so soft that he could barely hear it. As he picked up his pen, he started to sing along to the music.
"I think I got a crush..."