I wonder if she works with him, or if they're dating. I shouldn't really care; it was over so long ago. I'm married, but it's Sam. I've never been able to quit cold turkey. It's not like I love him. It's just like. . . Fuck what it's like, it just is.

"Honey?" I lean over to Rob, across the table. He doesn't make me ask.

"Leo McGarry's daughter, Mallory."

"So is this social or what?"

"Have no idea." He smiles at me as I crane my head to see where the hostess leads them. It's directly opposite the room from my husband and I. I watch as Mallory sits and then puts her hand on his forehead, feeling for a temperature, probably. He's coughing quietly again. He's obviously sick, he never did understand that sick means slow down not go faster.

"Do you want to do this tonight? It could wait until Monday." Rob takes my hand, gently caressing it, sharing his thoughts through just a touch. But this needs to be done, and I'd rather do it here away from Josh.

"I think maybe we should go introduce ourselves." I tell him. Rob stands up and pulls out my chair for me, and we start across the room.

Three years ago, I had been engaged to be married to Sam, and I walked away. I said I didn't love him and I canceled the wedding, and he stood there and gave me the look that he's giving Mallory McGarry. It's a puppy dog look, but it's more than that. It reminds me of my father's Labrador after he's been scolded; brow furrowed, slight frown, and incredibly sad eyes.

"You're getting over a cold, you should be home in bed." Mallory's voice is soft, but with stubbornness it carries quite a bit. I can't help thinking if they're dating she's going to need that stubbornness.

"Mallory, this is the first night I've had off in a while, let's just enjoy it. I'm not that sick."

Her hand reaches out to touch his forehead again and he catches it, linking their fingers. And suddenly Rob and I are by their table and Sam's eyes are meeting mine. I can see the surprise, and nothing else. Mallory looks up at us, and suddenly I'm smiling, call it a politician's wife reflex.

"Hi, I'm Lisa Ravanaugh. This is my husband Rob." I hold out my hand as does Rob.

Sam and Mallory get up from their table and shake our hands. I can the sadness in Sam's eyes now, has he realized what my name means?

Rob rescues us from the silence that has invaded the four of us, asking Mallory to dance. I can tell she's reluctant to go, there's something protective in her gaze of Sam.

"Dance with me, Sam." I ask after Mallory has left with Rob. He follows me without saying a word, but the muscle on the left side of his jaw is jumping, sure sign things are not good.

He pulls me into a stiff dance position and we start to move to the wonderful band on the stage. Soft and Jazzy has always been a preference of mine, something I got Sam hooked on.

"He's a Congressmen, isn't he?"

"Newly elected." I state with pride. I am proud of Rob; he can make a difference here.

Sam nods quietly, we spin some more on the floor and I can't take the silence. Sam and I could always talk.

He interrupts the silence. "You just didn't love me enough?"

"Partly." I say.

"You love him?"

"Yes."

He nods again. And we dance.

"It wasn't the job, Sam." I try.

"If I had been elected-"

"No!" I say quietly but urgently. "Sam, Do you honestly miss me? Do you wake up mornings and think this spot belongs to Lisa, she should be here, I need her here?" Sam looks into my eyes now and I see a faint bit of hurt.

"I used to."

"But it went away?"

"Yeah." He looks over to Mallory and I see something in his eyes, I forgot how much Sam could hide. I used to joke to with Josh that people need a secret decoder ring to see what Sam's thinking.

"She's pretty."

"It's . . . Odd." He looks back at me and I can feel his body start to relax. "What happened?" He asks suddenly.

It is what this whole dance has been about; I knew that when I walked up to them.

"Do you remember when you came home the last time, and you brought Josh."

"You stopped loving me because I brought Josh home for the weekend?" He asks.

"No, we had that argument about you and getting a job after the election was over."

"I wouldn't have gone to Washington, I would have stayed with you. I would' ve-"

"It wasn't about the job, Sam. It has never been about the job."

"Then what?"

"We were arguing and Josh was there, and it stopped being an argument between us. It was an argument between the three of us. You were saying that you'd get another job as a lawyer. Josh was saying not to worry about it that Barlet would sign you up, no problem."

And I can remember that day. Sam had come home a month before the wedding, and Josh had come with him. What had started out as simple planning on their part, had ended up changing my life.

"We win the elections, and then we're in. I'll probably be name as Deputy Chief of Staff, You'll be in the Communications department."

"No, I won't. I'll probably be getting a job here."

"Why?" Josh asked with that shake of his head.

"Josh, Barlet can't stand me. He's not going to put me in the White House."

"Yes, he will. Leo will make him. They aren't stupid. You're a great speech writer, Sam."

"Between him and Toby, I'm out. Don't worry, Josh. I knew that in the beginning. I have my resume out there."

"SAM! Are you insane!" Josh's stood and began to pace.

"I'll have a new job ready for when the elections are over." Sam stated calmly from where he was stirring dinner, something healthy, I'm sure. I can remember every word of the conversation, but I can't remember whatever it was that would eventually burn on the stove.

"Sam, I can get you in."

"I don't need you to 'get me in,' Josh. I can get myself my own job." And that's when my mind started to wander. I knew this fight, or argument would last a while, and I couldn't help wondering if that was what it was like for Barlet and Leo. "I can get you the Presidency." "I don't need the Presidency." "Yes, you do." And all the while, Abigail Barlet stood off to the side, watching the fireworks. And then I could see Josh in twenty or thirty years on our porch saying, "I can get you the Presidency." And I knew.

"Sam, I can't marry you. I don't want to marry you." My words stopped the argument in progress and Sam dropped the spoon. "I'm not moving to Washington." With those words I walked to the bedroom and started packing Sam's things.

Sam stood in the doorway. "You don't love me?" He asked, and I knew if I looked up I'd be gone.

"I'm not going to play second fiddle to your job. You're making these decisions without me, and I'm not going."

"I told you. I'm not going to Washington."

"No, you said they wouldn't offer you a job."

"They aren't, Lisa. This is just until November."

"We aren't getting married, Sam. I'm calling off the wedding." I handed Sam his bag with his clothes. I kissed his cheek and closed the bedroom. "Write me to tell me where to send the rest of your things." I say through the door. A few hours later I came out to find something burning on the stove, and Sam was gone.

"What was so important about that fight?" Sam asks. I look up into his face and see the fatigue the job has left there and I smile, because he looks alive and happy too.

"I'm not cut out to be the First Lady of the United States."

"What?" He asks as the band starts another song.

"I could just picture Josh coming to get you to be President in twenty years. I didn't want that. I can't be that. I didn't love you enough to be that. We wouldn't make it through a Presidency without completely falling apart."

"I'm never going to President. No one would vote for me."

"Don't sell yourself short, Sam. You have the ideals and morals, you have the knowledge and you have Josh. You could be President. And I couldn't be. That makes us incompatible."

"That was . . ." Sam is great with words unless he's talking head on with no warning.

"I did love you. I guess I still do a little, but there wasn't enough there. We-"

"I know."

"I know this now, Sam. I love Rob more than anything, and I can see myself following him where ever."

"I'm happy for you." He means it, I know. But he's looking at where Rob and Mallory are dancing. Rob looks up and catches my gaze, and they move over to Sam and me.

Sam and I stop moving, with quick movements I'm in my husband's arms. And I feel home again. Rob pulls me close and I sigh. Rob met me in a bar. He took me home when I was too drunk to get home myself, and he let me cry on him, when I told him it was my wedding day.

"Look." Rob tells me and I turn to see Mallory snuggled up to Sam, telling him something softly. And he's nodding his head. With a soft caress she pulls him from the dance floor, they gather their jackets and are gone. Mallory's hand never stops touching him. Sam's never been one for touchy feely. But this touch seems to be welcome and I'm glad that he could let go a piece of the hurt. I snuggle into Rob's chest. I'm glad I have told Sam that I loved him. I would have hated for him to only remember abandonment. After the shooting, I've wanted to call him, talk to him. But this was better. Here on this dance floor, the air filled with a jazzy soft tune of love. And a touch of love, when it was done. This is how it should be.