Lusting After Sam
Part 2
Jae Kayelle
Charlie looked like his usual stoic, unruffled self. Sam took a chance
and smiled at him. "What can I do for you?"
"The President would like to speak with you, Sam."
"When?"
"He said at your earliest convenience."
Sam stood up. "Which means..."
"Right away," they finished simultaneously. Charlie cracked a smile,
causing Sam to blink apprehensively.
"You know, the other day when you asked me how smart I am?"
"Yeah?"
"It meant a lot coming from someone as brilliant as you are. I mean
you've taken an interest in me since day one." Charlie brought his
hands around from behind his back. He was holding a copy of what Sam
now believed to be the bewitched issue of _D.C. Male_. The President's
aide smiled again, a full blown, batting his eyelids kind of smile.
Sam edged his way around Charlie who stood unwaveringly in the doorway.
"I really like you, Charlie. Really I do, but I have to go. The
President wants to see me."
"I understand."
"Maybe you could go call Zoey or something? I heard she's been asking
about you. You guys should get back together. You make such a cute
couple."
"But she's never been on the cover of a magazine!" Charlie called as Sam
scooted through the communications bullpen.
Fielding compliments, propositions and butt pinches from Bonnie, Ginger,
Nancy, and Carol, Sam made it past most of the support staff only to
encounter Donna in the hallway.
"Hi, Sam." She blocked his path.
"Don-na."
Her arms were folded in front of her, clasping some files to her body.
Sam couldn't tell if she had the Evil Magazine or not. He also
couldn't tell by her expression if she was going to pounce on him or
not.
She stepped closer to him. She was taller than he was, which had never
bothered him before today.
"Sam, did you know that ninety-nine percent of men who make the cover of
a magazine are considered virile and they become the objects of
hero-worship?"
"I can believe that," he replied uneasily.
She looked down and pulled her copy of _D.C. Male_ out of the files that
she held. "One of my hobbies is meeting male celebrities."
"I'm not really a celebrity. Well, yes I am, but we met years ago,
Donna. We work together."
"Yes, I know. However, we've never gone out for dinner together. Just
the two of us."
"The President is waiting to talk to me, Donna. I have to go." He
sidestepped around her.
"If I give you a backrub will you autograph my copy?" she called after
him.
All of the attention he had been receiving left Sam befuddled. Instead
of taking a more direct route to the Oval Office, Sam went through Leo's
office. He realized his mistake as soon as Margaret stood up at his
approach. The Hated Magazine lay open on her desk.
"Sam," she said in a low, husky voice, walking around the desk to get
closer to him.
He backed away. "Hi, Margaret. Bye, Margaret."
He went back out into the hallway and collided with Leo. The Chief of
Staff steadied him with his free hand. In his other one he held the
Despised Magazine.
"How ya doin', Sam?" Leo grinned broadly, his fingers closed on Sam's
wrist stroking the pulse point.
"Urk."
Sam tore himself free and fled. Remembering that he had an appointment
with President Bartlet, he took a minute to collect himself. Slowly his
heart rate returned to normal. Bravely he walked into Mrs. Landingham's
old office. Charlie wasn't around, but Mrs. Landingham was there. The
woman looked up as he drew near.
"Hel-lo, Sam."
"The President wanted to see me. Is he free?"
"The National Security Advisor is in with him. They should be done
soon. Meanwhile, why don't you sit over here and talk to me?"
Sam's eyes darted over the desktops. That Magazine was nowhere in
evidence, but he could feel its malevolent presence in the room. Then
Mrs. Landingham opened a drawer and pulled it out, laying it on the desk
to caress it lovingly.
Thankfully, the door to the Oval opened, and Nancy McNally exited the
office. *It* was in her hands. Her eyes widened when she spotted him
thinking about cowering in the centre of the room.
"Hello there, Sam."
"N-Nancy."
"Absolutely lovely article, Sam."
"Th-thank you."
She moved closer, raising a hand to caress his cheek. "You are so
photogenic."
"Uh..."
"Sam, get your ass in here!"
Saved by the President. Maybe. Sam smiled apologetically at Nancy and
slipped into the Oval. No matter what, he was not going to ignore a
summons by the Chief Executive. It might mean that he would end up a
love slave to Jed Bartlet, but he would loyally meet his fate because he
served at the pleasure of the President.
"Oh God!" he whined under his breath.
"Close the door, Sam. You're letting the flies out."
Sam did as he was told, but did not move one step closer. The President
began talking to him, until he realized that Sam remained plastered to
the door.
"Sam? That is you, isn't it? It's difficult to tell because you're
just a speck on the horizon over there."
"Yes, sir." Sam took several bold steps forward, bringing him to the
centre of the room. The President leaned against the front of his desk.
They were now about five feet apart.
"I won't bite, Sam."
"Promise?"
"What?"
"Sir?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Me too. Sir."
Bartlet shook his head as if something was rattling in it. "At what
point did we lose control of this conversation?"
"I'm not sure, sir." Sam rapidly scanned the office for the magazine.
His stomach fell into his shoes when he glimpsed *It* on the table
between the striped couches.
"Are you not feeling well, Sam? You just lost all of your colour.
Maybe I should call my wife to take a look at you." He made a move
towards the phone on his desk.
Sam's eyes bugged out. That was all he needed. Abbey Bartlet
frightened him under normal circumstances. If she were to fall under the
influence of The Magazine with her husband present Sam's career, as well
as his future, would be cut very short.
Jed Bartlet had walked up to Sam while he was mulling over the brevity
of his life on this planet, and was now suddenly, surprisingly, right in
front of him. Sam leapt to his right and collided with a chair.
Jed followed, reaching out to steady him when he wobbled. "You're jumpy
today. Is something wrong?"
Sam quaked under the touch of his President. "I'm fine, sir," he
managed to say somewhat convincingly.
"Maybe you should sit down." He steered Sam over to one of the couches.
Sam sat, but Jed pushed him down so that he was half lying on the
couch. Realizing that he was in a compromising position, Sam struggled
to remain upright. "Stay put, Sam. If you rest up for a minute you
should be fine."
"I'm fine now, sir!"
One of the doors opened and Josh bounded in, skidding to a halt when he
saw the President kneeling over Sam's semi-prone body.
Josh cried out, "Sir! I apologize for interrupting but I need Sam. Right
now! There's a, um, there's a speechwriting emergency."
Annoyed, Bartlet asked, "Why isn't Toby here to get him?"
"Um, that's the emergency. Toby has lost his talent and he needs Sam to
help him find it. He's locked himself in his office, sir. It looks
bad."
Reluctantly, the President let Sam get up. "Oh, very well."
Sam scrambled out of harm's way. He eyed Josh apprehensively, and then
decided that the risk in going with his friend was less than in staying
with the President.
"I'm sorry, sir. I'd better go now."
Bartlet waved him off. "Yeah, yeah. Go."
Sam rapidly exited the Oval Office with Josh beside him. Looking at his
friend, he said, "You just dragged me out of the Oval Office with some
lame excuse about Toby losing his talent."
"It's not lame. He really is suffering from writer's block and sent me
to get you."
Sam stopped walking. "Wait."
"What's the matter?"
"For the last hour or so everyone in this building has been coming on to
me or pinching my butt. It's all because of that, that Magazine!" Sam
flung his hands around in his frustration. "I narrowly escaped becoming
the President's afternoon delight!"
"Oh, come on. It's not that bad. Is it?"
"Everyone hit on me, Josh. Everyone...except you." Sam cocked his head
and looked at his friend wonderingly. "Why not you?"
Josh looked genuinely puzzled. Just then CJ and Leo walked out of Leo's
office.
"There you are, Sam. How ya doin'?" Leo asked.
CJ grinned and said, "Yeah, Sweetpea. How are you?"
Sam tried to hide behind Josh. "Leave me alone!"
The two of them dissolved into a fit of laughter. Sam and Josh traded
bemused looks.
Finally Leo caught his breath and said, "Relax, Sam. We're just pullin'
your leg."
CJ said, between giggles, "Everyone is in on it. We read the article,
thought you might get an inflated sense of ego about it, and decided to
play a joke."
"A joke?" As realization that he had been had set in, Sam let his
breath out with a whoosh. "It was just a joke? You mean you guys, Toby,
Charlie, Ainsley, and the support staff, you were just kidding?"
"Yup," CJ said.
"Mrs. Landingham and Nancy McNally too?"
Leo grinned. "The President let them in on it."
"The President!" Sam's legs wobbled again, this time in relief that he
had not been hit on by President Bartlet. It had all been his own mind
amplifying everything anyone had said to him. Josh caught him as Sam
stumbled against him.
"Whoa. Steady there, buddy."
"You okay, Sam?" CJ asked.
"I'm okay." A huge grin broke out on his face. "I'm very okay."
"How come I didn't know about this joke?" Josh asked.
CJ looked at him pityingly. "Oh, Josh. You're a lousy actor. We
couldn't trust you to keep the secret."
"It's your poker face, Josh," Sam put in, smiling kindly.
"Oh. Ah-kay." Josh shrugged it off. Sam knew his friend was very aware
he had a tendency to broadcast his feelings.
"Better get back to work, Sam." Leo clapped him on the shoulder, and Sam
felt no compulsion to shrink away in fear.
He walked down the hallway with Josh. "Tell me something."
"Sure."
"Do you really hate the way I look?"
Josh stared at him a moment, and then reached up to lightly ruffle Sam's
hair. "No. I think you look great. In fact, there's some irony in the
elaborate joke these people have played on you."
"What's that?"
Josh grew serious and put a hand on Sam's shoulder. "I'm the only one
here who truly does want you for your body."
Sam took off at a dead run with Josh racing after him. He heard him
calling, "Wait! Give me a kiss! It'll be good. You'll like kissing
me. We can go out and see a movie, maybe have dinner. I'm a fun date.
Sam!"
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