Epitaph
Elena Ridgeway
Josh Lyman groaned as he squinted at the clock: 1:30
am. He had been sound asleep, lost in a peaceful
dream in which Donna sat quietly by his side while he
watched the Mets play. Donna never did anything
quietly. Mike Piazza had just hit a homerun and,
while circling the bases, paused to give Josh a thumbs
up. Piazza was walking towards him when Josh found
himself wide awake. There had been no nightmarish
presence to jar him from sleep. He sighed. The dream
had been to good to fathom. He was settling down to
resume slumber when the phone rang. He glared at the
clock again: 1:35 am. Josh rooted around for the
phone, and mumbled "Josh. What do ya want?.........uh
huh.....what? When? Where?" He sat straight up in
bed. "I'll be there in twenty minutes."
He made it in ten.
George Washington Hospital
Josh entered the nearly empty waiting room,
frantically searching for anyone he recognized. Toby
came up to him right away.
"Josh. Thank god you're here. C.J's on her way. So
are Leo and the President. I didn't think I could
handle waiting on my own." He gave Josh a forced
smile.
"How did it happen, Toby?" The question was barely
whispered.
"He was driving home from....wherever he was this
weekend. I'm not quite sure." Toby paused, a pained
expression on his face from not knowing where his
deputy spent his spare time, then continued " The car
hit a patch of ice. He slid into a telephone pole.
They found my name in his wallet and called me. I got
in touch with his parents. They'll be here as soon as
they can." Josh nodded.
"How extensive are the injuries?"
"It's........bad. I mean, that's what I got out of
it. It's a head injury. They took him down to get a
CT maybe, I dunno, 20 minutes ago. He's been
unconscious. The doctors won't tell me much. His
parents asked that no information be given to anyone
until they arrived. I got the info before the nurse
gave them the instructions."
"So....we won't know anything until his parents
arrive?"
"Yes."
"And that will be...."
"I don't know Josh."
"Ok." The two men sat down, just as CJ ran into the
waiting room. Toby launched into an explanation
before she had a chance to ask. She bit her lip and
nodded her head before taking a seat next to them.
"We ought to work on the press release while we wait,
Toby. The president is on his way, and the press are
gonna be all over it." CJ spurted out. Toby sighed,
then wordlessly walked over to the front desk to see
if there was any paper.
5 hours later
CJ had just left to begin the briefing with Leo.
POTUS was sitting beside Josh, listening as his wife
demanded answers from the reluctant hospital staff.
"You know, in all these years of marriage, I think
this is one battle my wife is going to lose." Jed
remarked quietly to Josh. "It figures that it's the
one I want her to win the most." He sighed and picked
up an outdated 'People' magazine as Josh stared at
his watch. Toby was pacing the floor, resisting the
temptation to run behind the double doors to find Sam.
Abbey was arguing with hospital staff to no avail.
Toby's phone began to ring.
"Toby Ziegler. Yeah........no, I
understand......I'll tell them. Thanks." He hung up
and turned towards his friends. "That was Leo. He
wants Josh and the President to head back to the White
House. I'm gonna stay and wait for his parents. CJ
will call if she needs any help." Jed nodded and
motioned for his wife to follow them. Josh was less
responsive.
"I'm not leaving, Toby. He's my best friend, and I
want to be here for him. I need to be here for him."
"I know how you feel, but Leo needs you to go to the
White House. You have work to do. Sam would
understand. He was the same way after you were shot,
but he eventually did the right thing. You'll be the
first person I call when his parents arrive."
"Before the president, even?" Josh asked in a
remarkably small voice.
"Before the president." Toby promised. Josh rose
from his seat, gave him a small smile, and walked out
of the waiting room. Toby once again stared at the
double doors.
2 Hours Later
A harried looking woman rushed into the waiting room
and to the front desk. Toby's eyes perked up at the
sight of her: it had to be Sam's mother. His
suspicions were confirmed as he heard her frantic
pleas.
"My son was brought in during the night. Seaborn?
Sam Seaborn. Could you please give me information?
No one's told me anything." One of the nurses left to
get a doctor. Mrs. Seaborn turned around and was face
to face with Toby. "Mr. Ziegler?"
"Please call me Toby, m'am."
"How is he?"
"I don't know. You gave the doctors instructions not
to release information. They won't tell me anything."
Mrs. Seaborn looked confused.
"I didn't give any instructions........it must have
been his father. You've been here all this time.
They haven't said anything?"
"Not a word. We..." Toby was cut off by the
appearance of a doctor.
"Are you related to Sam Seaborn?" The doctor peered
at the woman in front of him, noticing the
resemblance.
"Yes. I'm his mother. I need to know how my son is."
"Sam was injured when his car slid off the road into
a telephone poll. He sustained extensive...."
"WAIT! I want to hear about my son." Sam's father
ran over to the trio.
"I can't believe you! First you forbid the hospital
to release any information about our son so his
friends can't find out if he's all right, then you
interrupt this conversation. Your incorrigible!"
"Don't start with me, Leslie. We've both had long
flights, so I'll let your comments slide for now..."
"And don't you act like you're doing me a favor! I
can't believe..."
"EXCUSE ME!" Toby bellowed at the arguing couple.
"I've been here since 1 o'clock this morning. I
called you both to inform you about this accident.
And I haven't heard a word about Sam's condition. Can
you at least wait and find out how your son is before
you rip each other apart?" They blinked at him as
they realized their mistake.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Ziegler. I had no idea." Mrs. Seaborn
was extremely apologetic. Toby gave her a small smile,
then nodded towards the doctor, who had been waiting
patiently to continue. Sam's father grunted a quick
apology.
"As I was saying earlier, Sam was brought in with
extensive head injuries. His CT scan showed swelling
and bruising, but no bleeding. His skull was
fractured. He has been unconscious since it happened
because he is in a coma." The doctor took a deep
breath, then continued. "We have him hooked up to a
ventilator and other life support machines. His EEG
says that there is no brain activity. I'm very
sorry." Mrs. Seaborn gasped.
"You mean that.......that Sam is.....dead?"
"Not exactly. His heart and other systems are
functioning, but only due to the life support. The
moment we take it off, Sam will die. I'm sorry to
inform you like this. I can have a nurse take you
back and see him. Sam doesn't have a DNR or a living
will, does he?"
"No."
"There will be a woman coming to talk to you about
organ donation. Her name is......"
"You mean that's it!" Toby asked angrily. "You're
not going to give him a chance? You don't know Sam,
he's a fighter. He can pull through this! Why are you
giving up on him!"
"Mr. Ziegler, we're not giving up on Sam. There is
nothing that anyone can do for him. I'm sorry, but
your friend is going to die." Toby sat down, in
obvious shock. Mr. Seaborn put his arm around his
soon to be ex-wife, who didn't fight his embrace.
"Will you please take us to see our son?" The doctor
nodded.
"Mr. Ziegler, are you coming?"
"I will. I have to call the President and inform him
we just lost a member of his senior staff." Toby
looked horrified at his own words and watched them
walk down the hallway. Then he picked up the phone.
30 minutes later
The doctor had greeted the plethora of people that
had arrived with remorse. Everyone was in shock. The
Seaborn's had announced that they were going to
release Sam from the life support after everyone had
gotten a chance to say goodbye. They felt that Sam
would not want to have his life prolonged that way.
No one disagreed: they formed a line outside the ICU
room and prepared to say farewell to Sam Seaborn.
Ainsley
"Oh wow, Sam....I....I had no idea this was gonna be
so hard. You just look like you're sleepin, ya know?
I mean, how can this be happening? You were so good
to me, Sam. You fought for me, to get me some
respect, to get the President to see me. I won't
waste it. I'm gonna make the most of this, because I
know that whatever reservations you may have about me,
you still want me to do my best for the
administration. I'm gonna miss ya." The tears fell
softly onto the sheets. Ainsley gave his hand a small
squeeze, then exited.
Cathy
"Sam, there is so much I want to say to you, and not
enough time to say it. But I'm going to try. You are
the smartest person I have ever worked for. You
always made me feel appreciated and like I mattered.
I can't imagine working for anyone else. I can't see
myself working for anyone else. You....oh
god......I'm never going to forget you, Sam. I
can't........I don't....." Cathy was unable to speak
as she forced herself to take a long look at her boss.
"Goodbye." She said softly. She leaned over, kissed
his cheek, and hurried out of the room.
Donna
"Sam. Wow, I can't believe this is the last time I'm
ever going to talk to you. I mean, no more getting
drunk, or making fun of Josh. I don't think I'll be
able to make fun of him without you. You always had
the funniest things to say. I don't want to take up
to much time, but I want you to know that I always
thought you were the coolest guy. How else could you
put up with me and Josh combined? That's a killer.
Just......I respect you, I will always respect you.
You're the best, Sam Seaborn." Donna hastily wiped
her eyes. "I'm so sorry I didn't get to know you
better." She smoothed his dark hair before bursting
into tears, and promptly left.
Zoey and Charlie
"My mom told me what to expect, but I had no idea. I
mean......I...." Zoey began to cry and Charlie held
her tight.
"Zoey wanted you to know that she thinks you are an
awesome author and that she was glad you worked for
her father. She always wished she could write like
you. And she thought you were cute." Zoey continued
to cry, and Charlie continued to talk. "I have
always felt you were a great man, Mr. Seaborn. I
can't imagine the West Wing without you.
You.........you were.......you are.....irreplaceable.
I....." Charlie found himself unable to speak. He
swallowed hard. "Goodbye, Sam."
Abbey
"Well, Samuel, I don't have much to say to you. You
are an exceptional writer. You are an exceptional
part of my husband's staff. You are an exceptional
person, and a great loss." A small tear slid down her
cheek. "Don't tell anyone I cried here, Sam. I have
a reputation to keep." More tears followed in suit,
and the First Lady didn't try to stop them. "Well, I
guess I can ruin my reputation for you. We'll all
miss you, Sam. More than you know."
Mallory
"I almost got into a wreck myself trying to get here.
Funny, isn't it? I was so angry at you for not
calling, but it all faded away when I saw you. I had
to throw my relationship in your face so I didn't fall
for you all over again." She paused, gently caressing
the side of his face. "I kept telling myself you
weren't worth my effort, that I should forget you. I
didn't forget you, Sam. I missed you. I wanted to be
with you. Now I just hate myself for not giving into
the moment and letting myself be loved by you. I want
you to hate me, Sam. I want you to wake up and berate
me and forbid me to ever see you again." The tears
were flowing in a steady stream down Mallory's face,
but she continued. "I think I need you to hate me, so
I can feel better about everything. But I know that
you don't hate me. I know that you feel awful about
everything. Let it go. It's my fault, everything is
my fault. It's my fault I wouldn't let you see that I
loved you. I love you." She kissed him on the
forehead and on the cheek. She held his hand,
squeezed it lovingly, and let go. Then she looked up
at the ceiling. "God, if you're up there, take care of
him." She glanced back at Sam. "Goodbye, Skipper.
I'll always remember."
Leo
"I'm sure that everyone said basically everything
already, and I hate to bore you with all that
sentimental crap. You and me both know I'm not a
sentimental guy. I just want to say that I'm sorry I
tried to screw with you and Mallory, and if I ever
said anything mean, I'm sorry. I have to keep a
straight head on, since everyone is losing it. You
were an asset to this campaign and an outstanding
human being. I'll never forget ya." Leo gave the
deputy one final glance. "Oh yeah. I forgive you for
looking at my wife."
He cleared his throat, nodded at the unconscious man,
and left.
CJ
"Well Spanky, you've done it this time. Toby is
never gonna forgive ya for this one." She paused as
she regarded her comments. "I didn't mean it like
that. It's just........I don't know what to say to
you. You were one of the people who gave me things to
say. I'm just awful with words. I'll just tell you
how it is. I love you like a brother, and I always
will. You always make me laugh. You always help me
when I need it. I can't imagine the job without you,
but I'll try my best. I know you'd get all fluffed up
if I quit. I'm gonna miss you so much Spanky. No one
can ever replace you." She stood and wiped her eyes.
"I'll pray for you every night. You'll always be
there for us, I know it. Goodbye." CJ quickly walked
away.
Jed
"I don't know what to say, Sam. I know how I feel,
but every time I try to say it comes out wrong. That's
why you write all my speeches for me. I figure I can
just sit here, and blabber, and you'll understand
anyways. I know one thing for sure: That I wouldn't
be the President of the United States without you. I
am forever indebted to you. I'm not sure what
religion you are, and that disappoints me. I ought to
know. I'm gonna pray the rosary now, and hope that it
agrees with whatever you are." Jed prayed, then rose
from his seat. "Goodbye and god bless you, Sam."
Josh
"I never thought I would have to do this. I always
thought that we'd be older and it'd be quicker. The
thought that only machines are keeping you alive gives
me a new perspective. I'm not sure on what, but I'm
seeing a lot of things differently right now. I wish
there was a way to justify this. I mean, I'm a
self-centered egotistical bastard. You are Mr. Nice
Guy. You couldn't hurt anyone but yourself." Josh sat
down, then stood up again. "Why, Sam? After all we've
been through, you're just going to leave now? No final
statement, no last words to remember you by? I can't
accept it. I thought that you'd make a profound
statement before you kicked the bucket. I
just.......I can't do this. I can't say goodbye to
you. Because you'll never be gone to me, Sam. You'll
always be there in some way, shape, or form. You'll
always be with me. I will never ever forget you. I'm
sorry if I ever hurt your feelings. I'm sorry that I
didn't tell you I was having problems. And I'm sorry
it's not me that is dying. I deserve to die more than
you do." Josh stared down at his best friend and sat
down. "I'll never find another friend like you. I'll
never replace you. I'll never replace you." His sobs
began quietly, then escalated until they wracked his
entire body. "I'm just glad I knew you as long as I
did. I love you, buddy. Have fun with the angels in
heaven." Josh wiped his eyes, ruffled Sam's hair
before walking away. He stopped at the door and
turned, gazing for the last time at his best friend,
then forced himself through the door.
Toby
"CJ told me that you said I was your favorite writer.
I blew it off when she told me, because I didn't want
you to know how much it meant to me. It means a lot,
Sam. More than you'll ever know. I know that I'm
mean and I'm a hard-ass. That's never gonna change,
because I have to be. That's the only way I'm dealing
with this. With you, dying. It's only gonna affect me
in this room, and at your funeral. I can't let it
affect me anywhere else. Don't think I don't care,
Sam. It's killing me. I can't imagine working with
anyone else. I don' want to work with anyone else.
You were the perfect Deputy Communications Director.
I couldn't dream of a better person. Even though you
drove me crazy with the way you wrote, the President
always sounded perfect when he uttered your words."
Toby ran his hands through his non existant hair, then
sat in the chair. "I just want you to know that I
appreciate you. I didn't mean to demean you in any
way when I summoned you with the rubber ball. I
appreciate you. And I love you like a son." Toby
stood at the doorway, looking down at his deputy. He
closed his eyes and left the room.
Sam's parents went into his room together, and came
out an hour later. His mother looked at the crowd of
people still assembled outside the room and cleared
her throat.
"We're going to.........to.....shut........off..."
Mrs. Seaborn was unable to get the words out. Mr.
Seaborn took over.
"We're going to shut off the machines now. You are
all invited to be in the room. They'll be removing
him right away, since Sam is an organ donor. This way
he'll be able to touch other's lives as well." They
turned and walked back in, followed by everyone. They
formed a circle around Sam's bedside. The doctor
walked in, along with a team of transplant surgeons.
He gave them all a grim smile.
"I'm so sorry for your loss," he stuttered. The
presence of the Presidential staff intimidated him.
He slowly began to turn off the various life support
machines surrounding his patient. Everyone
collectively held their breath as the last piece of
equipment was turned off. Seconds passed, and the
heart monitor continued to beat. A minute passed, and
still his heart was pumping.
The line went flat and the monitor emitted a shrill
sound when they were least expecting it. The doctor
silently turned it off. Sam Seaborn was dead.
part 2
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