Revenge Can Be a Sticky Situation
Ginny Kinneman
By 8:00 PM Sam's head had been pounding the better part of the day. The Advil
he took wasn't helping and neither was the relentless banging of Toby's pink
rubber balls against their common window. The pink rubber spheres, of
course, were the major cause of Sam's pain in the first place. That and
lunch with a group of Republicans opposed to the Blue Ribbon Commission.
Sam knew Toby was about to get on the phone with someone in Seth Gilette's
office. At least that would give him a few minutes of peace and quiet. He
leaned back in his chair and propped his feet on the desk. Just let me close
my eyes for 10 minutes, he thought to himself. Through half closed eyes he
saw Ginger drop something on his desk, turn out the lights and close his door.
As he was starting to drift off Toby's phone call ended. Judging by the
speed at which the balls hit the window, things had not gone well. Toby
looked at him and raised his eyebrows as if to say, "Well, get in here"
Sam slowly rose from his chair, grabbing his glasses, a note pad and a pen.
He threw himself on Toby's couch with a sigh.
"What's wrong with you, you look like hell" asked Toby as he resumed his
throwing.
"Headache, Toby, I wonder what could have cause it. Got any ideas?" asked
Sam.
"Nope" smirked Toby.
Sam and Toby spent the next hour going over the highlights of a 20 minute
phone call. Toby kept the balls flying around the room as they talked.
Every time Sam would start to zone out Toby would throw them harder and make
more noise. Ginger had even gotten up from her desk and closed the door.
Finally Sam couldn't take any more.
"Are we done here? I can't even think straight."
"Yeah, whatever. I'm going home" muttered Toby as he leaned over to pick up
a ball that he had missed as it bounced off the window sill at an odd angle.
Sam walked across the bullpen to go see Josh. Donna waved him in when he
arrived, Josh was on the phone. Sam slumped into one of the chairs in front
of Josh's desk, removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes wearily.
"Hey buddy, what happened to you" asked Josh as he hung up the phone.
"Headache, Toby's doing the ball thing again. And here I thought the bell
was bad. Doesn't even compare" sighed Sam.
"Well, be thankful for the shatterproof glass around here"
"Yeah."
"Did you need something or are you just hiding" inquired Josh as he leaned
back and put his feet up on the desk.
"Well, I'm not hiding, Toby went home but I do need help. I need a plan to
stop Toby or I am going to have to go buy stock in Advil."
"OK, let me think"
Josh paced around the room for a few minutes before he broke out into a huge
grin.
"I got it, follow me"
Josh went out to Donna's desk with Sam right behind.
"Hey Donna, do you still have that Crazy Glue you used to fix that..thing I
broke."
"Joshua are you sure you didn't steal those SAT scores?" asked Donna with her
slightly exasperated tone she was so fond of using with her boss.
"I got those scores on my own, thank you very much. Now, the glue?"
"Here, be careful with it. Don't glue yourselves to anything. Wait, what
are you going to do with this stuff?"
"Nothing, I'm sure you will hear about it later" muttered Sam as he and Josh
walked over to Toby's office, mission impossible style, hiding behind plants,
file cabinets and doors.
They closed the blinds, turned on the light in Toby's office and hunted down
the balls that were scattered around on the shelves, the couch and on the
floor. They ended up with 14 balls.
"OK, where do we put them" wondered Josh.
"How about on the desk?"
"No, I don't think Leo would be too crazy about us using crazy glue on
government property"
"How about just on the shelf, still government property, but much cheaper
than the desk"
"Sounds good to me"
They spent the next few minutes randomly gluing the balls onto Toby's
shelves.
Sam held the last two in his hand wondering where to put them.
"Where do you think?" muttered Sam.
"Window sill, open the window up. We'll glue them to the sill and the bottom
of the window. So it'll be a little chilly in here tomorrow morning."
grinned Josh.
By the time they were ready to glue the last ball down the tube was nearly
empty.
"Sam give it to me, hold the ball and I'll squeeze the tube."
As Josh started to squeeze the glue out a stiff breeze came through the
window causing the door to the office to slam shut. Josh jumped, Sam jumped,
the glue spurted out and Josh and Sam found themselves hand in hand.
Literally, stuck hand in hand. The ball had managed to fall glue side down
and was stuck on Toby's chair.
"Great, now what" muttered Sam.
They looked at each other and sighed "Donna"
Sneaking out of the office they tried to avoid as many people as possible,
they were, afterall, hand in hand.
They didn't see Leo and Jed come around a corner behind them. The two of
them managed to keep their laughter silent, preferring instead to follow
behind the two younger men watching their poor spy imitation.
They arrived at Donna's desk as she was packing up to leave.
"They're on your desk, Joshua" she smirked.
"What's on my desk?" asked Josh with all the innocence he could muster.
"Nail polish remover and cotton balls"
"Why would we need those things Donna" asked Sam as he tried to pull their
clasped hands behind his back.
"Samuel, you and your sidekick were being watched by the President and Leo
for the past few minutes. Leo called me and asked if I knew why the two of
you would be walking through the bullpen holding hands. It didn't take much
to put two and two together and come up with both of you super-glued
together. So, I'm going, see you in the morning." said Donna as she walked
away and never turned back.
"Let's go Tonto" ordered Josh as he pulled Sam into his office.
"Hey, how come you get to be the Lone Ranger?"
"Because the Crazy Glue was my idea"
"And look how great that worked out" groaned Sam.
"Shut up and help me open this bottle" growled Josh.
Twenty minutes and half a bottle of acetone later they were free.
Three hours later and Sam was pushing Josh up the stairs to his apartment.
Mr. Sensitive System had decided that they deserved a few rounds of drinks
for accomplishing their mission. Fortunately for Sam, who had been paying,
it didn't take much to get Josh drunk. Sam wasn't really sure he had even
finished the second beer.
**********
Next morning
6:30 AM
Sam was already in his office when Toby arrived. He watched as Toby picked
up the messages off the desk and walked around the room reading them.
Apparently Toby didn't realize the room was cold and papers were blown all
over the place. As he read one of the messages he crumpled it up and tossed
it in the trash.
"That must have been from Seth Gilette" muttered Sam to himself.
Toby turned towards his bookshelf, tried to grab a ball and ended up nearly
pulling the shelf down instead. He took his coat off and went to sit down,
only to find a pink sphere stuck to his chair. A breeze blew through the
window spending papers flying through the air.
Toby glared over at Sam, who just gave a little smile and a little wave, as
he reached into the bottom drawer of the desk and took out a box of 12 new
pink balls. One by one they flew at the window.
Oh God, why didn't we check the drawers?" moaned Sam as he reached for the
bottle of Advil.
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