I could've just asked for the time off - There was nothing pressing I had to do that couldn't wait until the morning. But he would've asked where I was going, and that was an answer I didn't want to have to give. He'd find me another birthday message to write or something.

It's not like I had any business being there anyway. I'd screwed up, I'd lost her. But I had to see her again. I know it makes me sound crazy, like some stalker, but I-...I wanted to see her.

And so I ducked out of work early and headed over to the high school.

I didn't know there was a theater program in her neck of the woods, I guess it was never the sort of thing I paid any attention to. It's not like I would go join, nor is it like I'd have the time to go see productions.

But this one, I knew I had to see.

She's starring in The Music Man tonight. And from what Josh says, she's damn good.

I think he's sneaking out tonight, too. It'd make sense - they're like brother and sister. In fact - yeah, he just walked in with Leo.

If they see me, I'm a dead man.

I take a seat in the middle, somewhere nondescript, not lurking in the shadows at the back of the theater. And I settle in to watch.

It's a good musical, I've seen the movie before...my sister used to LOVE that movie, back when she wanted to be a band teacher.

But I've never seen *her* in it...and that makes all the difference.

She has a great stage presence - I know very little about theater, but that much I can tell, it's a-...a palpable thing. She seems completely at home up there, not like me...I'd be shaking in my socks by now if I was onstage...The little girl at the piano looks familiar, too, I think she's one of Mal's students...probably. The little boy, too.

But I only glance at them. I'm too busy watching her.

Which makes me sound like a stalker, but that's not the point.

Then she opens her mouth to sing. And I think my jaw drops, I'm not sure.

Her voice is so beautiful, it-...she could be a professional. She really could.

I look cautiously over toward Leo and he's leaning his chin on his hand, elbow on the armrest, grinning as he listens to his pride and joy up there onstage. Josh has on that proud grin like I wore when my sister graduated from medical school, that sort of big-brother pride, the knowing you'd beat up any kid on any playground who tried to mess with the little sister.

She's gazing through a "window", which faces toward us, so at several points she stares right at me without seeing me because it's so dark in the theater and the lights onstage are so bright. Then, toward the end of the song, the lights dim a little more, and she stiffens just slightly, just a tiny bit, still singing beautifully the whole time.

And then the song ends and she exits.

I'm pretty sure she saw me. I can tell because the next solo song she had, she sang staring right at me the entire time.

*My White Knight, Not a lancelot, nor an angel with wings, Just someone who'll love me Who's not ashamed of a few nice things...*

I was a fool, Mallory, I know...I should have called you, I-...God, I would do anything to make you happy...I'd buy you the world, the moon, the stars...If it would make you happy, I would do it...Name it, Mal, I'll do it...You're beautiful when you're happy...you're beautiful anytime, but I'm saying-...oh, do I even KNOW what I'm saying?

*My White Knight, Who knew what my heard would say if it only knew how Please, dear Venus, show me now...*

I wish I knew how to win you back, I-...I'm sorry, I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I didn't call you, I'm sorry I have to work long hours and that your father doesn't find me an acceptable suitor...maybe I'm NOT an acceptable suitor. After all, I did the wrong thing countless times...But I'm sorry, I am...

*All I want is a plain man All I want is a modest man A quiet man, a gentle man* She narrows her eyes slightly at me. *A straightforward and honest man* Ouch. *To sit with me in a cottage somwhere in the state of Iowa* What's in Iowa? *And I would like him to be more interested in me than he is in himself And more interested in us than in me...*

...If you want me to leave, Mallory...if you just want to be rid of me...Just say the word, I-...I won't like it, but I'll do it anyway, for you, for your happiness...

*And if occasionally he'd ponder what made Shakespeare or Beethoven great Him I could love 'til I die Him I could love 'til I die*

["Yes, and we're having quite a lot of sex."

"I'd think you'd almost have to"

"What is THAT supposed to mean?"

"What the hell do you and Richard Andrechuck talk about?"

"He happens to be a terribly bright guy"]

["You are so exactly like him..."]

...You're so smart, Mallory...so smart...you could've been a world class political opperative if you wanted, so great on your toes, so passionate...those kids you teach are truly lucky to learn from you...

*My White Knight Not a lancelot, nor an angel with wings Just someone to love me, Who's not afraid of a few nice things. My White Knight, Let me walk with him where others ride by Walk and love him 'til I die 'Til I die*

The final note rings out, hanging in the air a moment like a hummingbird, hovering over the audience, before the applause begins. And the play continues. Intermission comes and goes.

But I can't get my mind off that song. Off her.

I screwed up badly. Very badly. And now it's probably too late to get her back. But it's my own fault, I can't blame anyone else, this is just me. My own fault. My own stupidity and ignorance and...cowardess.

The curtain call finally snaps me from my revery. I applaud extra hard for Mallory, and I see that Leo leaps to his feet, just as proud as a father watching his second-grade daughter in the role of Tree Number Two in "The Lonely Forest". Everyone stands as Mallory and the guy who played the...guy...bow together, a standing ovation for their great performance, and it's only then that I whistle, surprising myself almost as much as the people around me. She's grinning - she looks great when she's so happy. And then the curtain closes and people begin to put on their coats and venture out into the blustery night.

I wait around, hoping to see her, as do Leo and Josh, but I continue to keep my distance. Mallory walks out from backstage about ten minutes later, in normal dress but still donning full stage makeup, and she's met immediately by her father and near-brother. Leo hands her a rose bouquet that I hadn't noticed until just now and kisses her cheek, and she beams as he says something to her. Josh hugs her and produces a single white rose from behind his back, and she laughs...maybe that's a running joke with those two. I don't know.

Then she says something and both of their heads snap around to stare at me. I blush seventy shades of red, and she starts toward me while Josh and Leo head out to Leo's blue Sedan, their destination: the White House.

"You!" She charges toward me, fire glittering in her brown eyes, and I smile weakly. I hold out a small bundle of simple flowers as a peace offering, but it doesn't make her soften any. "What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"I-...I wanted to come see you. You were great."

"Thank you."

"Really."

"Why did you come here?"

"I told you - I wanted to see you. Josh talked about how amazing you were on stage and I...I had to come see for myself," I answer lamely. That's true, but not the whole reason. I don't think I can say the whole reason.

"You wanted to see me?" she repeats, still unyielding.

"I...yeah," I say quietly.

"Why?"

"What is this, twenty questions?"

"Hey, you came here -"

"Because I wanted to see you," I say again. "Because I think I might still be in love with you and I wanted to see you and maybe talk to you" ...and MAYBE win you back...aw, Sam, stop dreaming.

"You might still be WHAT?" she asks in a voice that's nearly a hiss.

"You heard me."

"Sam." She turns around so I can't see her face, but doesn't walk away - she just stands there.

"...Mallory?"

"Sam, stop doing this."

"Stop doing what?"

"This -...This-....This thing where you play hero and come and try and win back the princess."

"I wasn't playing hero, Mal. This was my own selfishness talking." I smile hopefully.

"Stop DOING this to me! You -...You come in and you smile and you want me to go back to you even though you didn't call me at ALL after the -"

"I'm sorry! I've said it as many times as I could, you told me not to worry about it!"

"You weren't supposed to *believe* me!"

"What?"

"When a woman says-...hell, when ANYONE says that...you're not supposed to ACTUALLY stop worrying about it, you're supposed to be overridden with guilt and feel horrible and call me up and apologize more and then -"

"I thought you were being generic."

"What?"

"You were being generic until you said 'call *me* up and apologize more'."

"What does it matter?"

"I dunno."

"Right."

"And then what?"

"What are you -?"

"You said 'call me up and apologize more and then'."

"Nevermind."

"What?"

"Then ask me out on a date or something but that's not the point." She says the first part in barely an audible voice, then speaks louder for the second part. I grin. She really ISN'T as mad at me as she'd like me to think. I have a chance. Maybe...just maybe..."What?" she demands.

"Hm?"

"You're grinning - Sam, don't just grin at me like that..."

"Listen, I-...There's nothing else at the White House that needs done before tomorrow...wanna go get coffee or something?"

She smiles tentatively, as though she's not sure whether or not she should. "I...okay." I lead the way out to my SUV and notice she doesn't have a coat, just her sweater, so I promptly drape my trenchcoat over her shoulders. It's too long on her - it smacks against her ankles - but that doesn't matter.

What does matter?

She's going with me for coffee. And maybe, just maybe, one of these days soon, she'll forgive me. I smile at that thought.