Sit It Out or Dance
Lin
"And when you get the choice to sit out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance."
by Lee Ann Womack
She walks in the room.
In this deep red satin confection. I'm glad now she didn't tell me what she would be wearing.
And she's mine.
My girlfriend, my lover, whatever you want to call it, but she's mine.
And for some reason, that's still unbelievable to me.
She circles the room in an effort to be seen by as many people as possible without getting bogged down in the mire of conversation. They clamor for her attention. Especially the men. I don't blame them one bit. Not to say I'm enjoying the advances they make on her but I can relate from where they are coming.
I bring my glass of wine to my lips, my eyes never leaving the woman across the room as the smooth acidic taste slides down my throat. She is practically floating. Someone nudges my shoulder lightly. Josh.
Damn. I knew I was here for a reason. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with CJ. Josh has managed to corner me again with that arrogant son of a bitch from Iowa. Grant Pearson. Be polite, Sam. One more hour of smiling and nodding hell and I can take CJ home.
She's standing by Donna now. I think she's trying to talk Donna into asking Josh to dance but I can see Donna shaking her head 'no' emphatically. What is wrong with those two? Even Joey Lucas can see how they feel about each other. I'm about to push Josh over to her when Toby comes up to us. I think this is the first time Toby has approached Josh and myself while we were actively talking to a party member he despised. OK, Josh was actively talking to Pearson. I was standing there, nodding like an idiot and watching my lady in red. All in all, not bad for a day's work.
Toby is starting to argue with Pearson. Pearson is opposed to more gun control regulations. Toby is reminding him in his *way* that this country needs a gun control bill, especially when the President and Josh were almost killed by guns. Pearson tells him when the figure is a celebrity, it draws more attention than it would have if the person would have been a normal citizen. Toby is arguing that it was the President of the United States, not some flea-bitten actor. Their argument is starting to draw stares but...here she comes.
If there were no CJ, I think we, or at least Toby and Josh, would have been fired by now. She comes up to us, smiling and asks Toby to dance. I guess she finally acquired the right shoe size. ::grin:: Toby's face has gone red but he grudgingly accepts her offer.
I watch as she draws him out on the dance floor and as he wraps his arms around her. Damn, this wine is starting to taste bitter. I sit it on a table and watch as they waltz around the room. She's quietly speaking to him, probably calming him down. The last thing we need now is to cause a scene at a meaningless State Dinner. One of our asses really would be fired in the morning.
And they move back and forth, hypnotically. The small gathers of her skirt at the end, flaps softly against her legs, twisting and folding themselves back and forth. I'll have to remember that later.
For now, I'm just content to watch her.
*~*
I love the color of this dress.
I think someone described it as crimson. Sanguine.
Whatever it is, I'm in love with it. Why don't I try a red dress more often? I'm always stuck in blues and greys. It was time to finally shake this up.
I have to make my circuit around this room of people I could care less about. I have to smile and play nice. Normally, this wouldn't bother me, but I just spent the last few hours fielding questions from InStyle and Harper's Bazaar about what food we were serving. Do I look like I care? Maybe if I had worn this dress to today's Briefing, they would have asked me whether I was wearing diamonds or pearls as an accent.
Damn. There's Sam. He's being cornered by Josh and some other guy I met a few months back.
So sue me.
There are quite a number of people running through the White House. I know him but for some reason, his name is on the tip of my tongue. I hate when that happens. He looks delicious. Not that guy but Sam.
I'm glad he was kidding about the purple tuxedo but sometimes you don't know. Don't get me wrong, Sam could look good wearing one of those powder blue tuxedos with the ruffled shirt from the 70's but I much rather enjoy him in a black tux with a white bow tie. The President insists. Sometimes I wonder what decade that man was born in. Century would be more like it.
I guess I'll circulate until Sam becomes available. There's Rebecca Moore from the Senate. She's standing with Tom Rockland. Oops, won't go over there.
I gently weave my way through the crowd, make my hellos and how do you do's and make a quick exit. I have an hour to be seen and then I can make my graceful exit out of here until tomorrow morning.
I'll go mingle with the fun crowd now. All of the assistants are standing on a wall near the edge of the party. Why are they standing back there? I guess they have figured out what it took us a couple of years to figure out: these parties are boring and filled with boring people, who all want to ask a favor of you. Oh well, it wouldn't be Washington D.C. if that wasn't true.
Donna looks particularly lonely. She's stealing glances at Josh when she thinks no one is looking. I'm still a bit far off so I can keep them both in my line of sight. I walk up on her. She's surprised to see me. I tell her to go and dance with Josh but she shakes her head no. By the way, I love her dress. It's lilac. Lavender. Something. But it brings out her eyes and hair till they shine. Dammit, why can't I find a dress like that? Donna is pointing at something.
Oh no, Toby is now standing with Josh, Sam, and...Pearson! That's what his name is. And it looks like they're about to go at it. It's my duty--no, it becomes my duty when working with these guys, to go break the latest argument up. Usually, I'm up for a good Toby tongue lashing but tonight I have a headache and I just want to go home and curl up in bed with Sam beside me.
I tap Toby on the shoulder. He is surprised to see me. I don't know why. I take advantage of his speechlessness to pull him out on the dance floor. While our arms are wrapped around each other, I sneak a peek at Samuel (I thought I'd try it out just once.). He looks kind of lonely standing over there.
Poor Spanky. I'll get him next.
*~*
"May I have this dance?"
She didn't bother to turn around. "Why?"
"Cause I asked and I have been told," he leaned in closer and whispered in her ear, "that I am quite cute. You can ask my girlfriend. She's standing around here somewhere."
CJ turned around to face a bemused Sam. "If that's true, why does she let you out of her sight?"
Sam shrugged. "I have been pondering that question for quite a while now." Pause. "But for now, I'll settle for dancing with the other beautiful woman in the room."
CJ lightly slapped his shoulder. "You better not let her hear you say that, Spanky." She took his hand as he led the way onto the dance floor. "We keep meeting here for some reason."
"Do your feet hurt this time?"
"I'll have you know, those other shoes were sized wrong," she huffed. "How was I supposed to know a size in one shoe would be that much radically different from another one?"
"I thought it was in all of those girly magazines," he teased.
"Girly magazines? What in the hell is a girly magazine?"
"You know, the ones that give makeup tips and stuff."
"No, I don't know and stuff but it seems like you do."
"CJ..."
"Fine but now we're going to have to go through the magazines on my coffee table and figure out which one you're talking about." She gave him a comforting squeeze on the arm. "Are you having fun tonight?"
"Watching you?"
She laughed. "No, not me though I am getting a kick out of watching you stare into space."
"You were staring at me."
"No, I caught you staring at me."
He grinned. "Guilty."
"I know. So tell me, how are you doing tonight?"
"Before the Toby and Pearson debacle, not too well."
"Why?"
He gave her a pouting look, "Because you weren't here and I had to listen to Pearson drone on about how he didn't want any more gun control legislation on the table."
"He must be dreaming."
"You sound like Toby."
"You know what they say, great minds think alike."
"Yeah, but yours comes with temperance-
"-Wit."
"Yeah, beauty-"
"A guy after my own heart, intelligence-"
"And intelligence," Sam finished. "See, you have the entire package. No wonder Bartlet picked you as his Press Secretary. You have the power to hypnotize men."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, no one has ever told you before?"
"Not so nicely." Her grip tightened on him. "Do you see what I'm seeing?"
Sam's eyes searched over CJ's shoulder. "What?"
"Josh and Toby are staring at us," she hissed.
"So?"
"So?" CJ pulled her head back to look at him. "They're *looking* at us."
"Is this the first time we have danced together?"
"No."
"Who cares?"
"Cause now there's something more and you were the one who wanted me to---"
"OK, we can tell them tonight."
"Tonight?"
"Yeah. You wanted first crack at Josh so here's your chance." He twisted his arm free of her body. "Go on. I'm sure he's ready to pounce on you."
CJ rolled her eyes. "You think?"
Sam's eyes crinkled as he smiled. "I know."
*~*
"Why did you drag me out here?"
CJ shrugged. "Why not?" She wrapped her arms around her bare arms. "Come on. There's a bench over there."
Josh followed her. He took off his tuxedo jacket and wrapped it around her arms. They sat down on the iron bench. "Does this have anything to do with what I saw in there?"
"What did you see?"
"Are you playing games, Claudia Jean?"
"Depends on what kind of game you're talking about."
"You're not going to tell me?"
CJ took a deep breath and stared into the leafy green bushes overtaken by the dark sky. "What would you think if I was seriously dating someone?"
"I would think name first, background check second."
"Josh, be serious."
"I am perfectly serious, CJ. I want to know who it is."
"Not if you're acting like my big brother. I'll remind you Josh, I have three and I have already been through this crap."
"You're going to tell me his name?"
She watched him warily. "You're not going to snap or go berserk or anything, are you?"
"I haven't yet..."
"Sam."
She watched in fearful anticipation as the word made its way to Josh's brain and unscrambled the sound to come up with an interpretation. Sam, his best friend. Involved with his other best friend. Amazingly, a slow smile emerged on Josh's lips until it became a full-fledged grin.
"I knew."
"What are you talking about?" she demanded.
"I already knew about you and Sam."
Her eyes widened. "How could you have known about that, Josh? Who told you?"
"No one told me."
"Josh, I have known you for years and you would have not come up with this conclusion on your own. Tell me." Her body started to rise off the bench.
"Calm down, Xena," Josh laughed. "I had a small bit of help from...Donna," he cringed as he saw the 'aha!' in CJ's eyes, "and-"
"Me."
They twisted their head around to find Toby and Sam walking up the pathway towards them. CJ dry swallowed, trying to rid her body of the fear she was currently feeling.
"You?"
Toby stopped a few feet in front of them, Sam beside him. "You two weren't very closeted. Especially with that whole Whitney mess."
"But that was before..." CJ protested.
"CJ, don't worry about it. Really. The when isn't important." He took a sobering glance at Sam who had moved away with Josh, giving the two friends a moment alone. "Is this what you want?"
CJ rose, keeping the jacket wrapped around her body like a shield. "Why do you ask that?"
"If someone would have asked a year ago..."
CJ kept her eyes fixed on the ground. "This isn't a year ago. Things change."
"This much?" he asked skeptically.
"And more." Pause. "We really want you guys to be happy for us but we don't need your permission."
"I know you don't, CJ. But I feel like it's my job..."
She held up her hand, effectively silencing him. "Don't say that." She pointed over her shoulder at Josh. "I already have bulldog Josh nipping at my heels, plus the President and Leo. I don't need you too."
Toby's brows rose. "The President knows?"
CJ's voice became soft. "He was the one who told me to go for it."
"Got to remember that," Toby muttered darkly.
CJ laid her hand on his arm. "Toby, you're one of my best friends. I don't think before I came here, at your insistence I might add, that I could say I had three best friends. I don't want to risk my friendship with any of you over anything."
He covered her hand with his own. "You won't risk anything. But your heart." He moved her hand down until they were holding hands at his chest level.
"You're one to speak." She didn't mention Andrea but he knew who she was referring to.
Toby fidgeted, "And that's how I know. Are you two serious?"
"Serious?" Pause. "We're getting there. But yeah, you could say that."
"You know I love Sam," he glowered at her. "If you ever repeat that to anyone else, not only will I unequivocally deny it, but I will hunt you down." Pause. "If he ever hurts you..."
"I'm a big girl, Toby. I can handle myself."
The old friends stared at each other, willing away doubts. Their friends' approach broke them out of their silent standoff.
"You guys ready to go in?" Sam asked eagerly. His eyes flitted back and forth between CJ and Toby, knowing that their heart to heart had been just that.
CJ gave Sam a soft smile. "Yeah." She took the jacket off of her shoulders and handed it back to Josh. "Thanks for the jacket, mi amor." She patted his shoulder and took Sam's arm. Josh and Toby stared at the two retreating figures as they disappeared through the gardens.
Josh was silent for a moment. "I know Sam is my best friend. I won't forget that but if he ever hurts her, I'm going to--"
"Why do you think he'll hurt her?" Toby remarked cryptically.
Josh's mouth dropped open. "Is there something you haven't told me?"
Toby turned on Josh. "Am I supposed to share something with you?" He leaned his head towards the blazing windows. "Let's go back inside before the President and the First Lady come looking."
Josh fell into step beside his friend. "You think they'll be all right?"
Toby bit the inside of his cheek before answering. "For tonight." Pause. "We'll worry about it tomorrow." They stood in the door and watched as CJ and Sam twirled on the dance floor oblivious to the other couples. CJ tilted her head back slightly and laughed at something Sam said.
They were floating.
Toby caught his breath before proceeding, "We have a party to attend."
"I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance"
I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack
End of Series
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