King of the Mountain: Part 34


Lynn Jepsen


I feel like I've spent half my life on the phone. Today is a day that
makes me feel it's a short end estimate. Toby flew back to California
this morning. They're going to induce labor, so my job for the day is
baby-watch. Rachel made a sign and everything. It says Baby-Update 2010
and it's hanging outside my door. People are roving the Texas
headquarters like they have nothing better to be doing, and I'm just
biding my time until I go bark at people. We do have work to do, people.

"CAN WE GET TO WORK, PEOPLE?" I can hear Sam's roar from in here, and the
noise level out there rises in proportion to the sudden increase in work
going on. Go Sam! I didn't know you had it in you. Wait, you don't have
it in you. What's going on? I yell at Rachel, and she appears at my door,
bearing a cup of what I assume to be decaf and a plate of celery. Have I
mentioned Sam and I need to talk about the food he's ordering his niece
to feed me? I hand the phone off to her, and she snags my chair as I run
after Sam.

What's up? He gives me this look, and motions for me to shut the door.
"Elle's sick." Excuse me? Should I call someone? I'm sure we can have
someone here in.... "Josh. Cool it. She's fine." But I thought you
said.... "She had a fever. We called the doctor. She's fine. Lisa is
another story." Ah, I see. Let me guess. She's been actively monitoring
Donnatella's health all night. Sam nods, and sinks down into his chair.
"She's got this list Abby gave her, of symptoms that warrant a trip to
the hospital." Now I understand. She was up all night, which means Sam
was up all night by default.

"Look, Josh, do I have time to sneak a nap?" Yeah, right before the
fundraiser. I'll have Margaret work it out. He grabs Diana's memo on
Israel, and flips through it. Whoa! That has to be at least ten pages.
"Josh, two page summaries?" You do remember what it was like to stick to
two pages? Right? He grumbles a little, and raises an eyebrow in my
direction. I'll tell them to limit their remarks to three pages.

*

"IT'S A BOY!" The phone gets yanked from my hand and passes around the
room as everyone who's ever met Toby or CJ tries to congratulate them,
and by the time the phone gets back to me, CJ's demanding Toby hand over
the receiver. How's it going, Claudia Jean? "He's so perfect, Joshua."
She's gushing, but I learn from experience and I keep that observation to
myself. Have you decided on a name? She doesn't hesitate, "Josiah
Ziegler." Well, we've got a Donnatella and we've got a Josiah - I think
we're nurturing a new generation of politicians here.

"Hey, Josh. Got a minute?" Diana sticks her head in the door as I hang up
the phone. Yeah, sure, come on in. She slips inside the room then, and I
motion towards the still steaming cup of coffee. You're welcome to it. I
hate decaf. "I was wondering if you, uh, have a date for the fundraiser.
You do, don't you?" This is one of those moments where I will always
remember that, at heart, I am a coward. Last week, Rachel mentioned that
Joey Lucas would be in town. She also mentioned that if I needed someone
to beat off the fan club members, she was willing. It's this thing we've
done when I'm not looking. It works well. If I had to be completely
honest, I'd say it started after Donna died. No matter how you cut it
though, I blow it and tell Diana that Joey's going with me, and launch
into a mandate on three page summaries.

It's only later, when she's left to finish Sam's toast for tonight that I
realize I just turned down a date with a woman I happen to like. I'm an
idiot. "Hey, Josh, the Post wants four minutes." Rachel's voice jolts me
back to reality, and I grab the phone. I might be an idiot, but I'm a
powerful idiot, dammit.

*

"Stop fidgeting. I'm supposed to fix your tie." Rachel yanks on the
cloth, and I have visions of being strangled to death by my teenage
assistant. When she's done, I can breathe again, and I have to do a
double take when I glance at her. She's got rollers in her hair, and a
tee shirt and jeans on. What is this? A slumber party? "Hey, what did you
expect? We're taking turns getting ready." Oops! Don't offend the
natives. Margaret walks past then, and leans in to tell Rachel it's her
turn.

I think I'm in hot water. I'm fully expecting to sort through mangled
messages and piles of carrot sticks for a week. Serves me right I
suppose. I should figure out how to deal with women sometime before I
turn fifty..... Speaking of women, I'm supposed to talk to Alice today.
It's like, I don't know, having your ally conspiring with your enemy. On
one hand, she's deflated the sails of every left wing third party wanna
be on the block. On the other hand, I may have to strangle her and stuff
the body in a freezer.

King of the Mountain: Part 35

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