Helping a Brother

Melissa


"Sam?"
"Hey Josh, what's up?"
"Have you seen Toby?"
"He's been in his office all day."
"Man. He has been in his office for about a week now."
"I know. Ever since he had that meeting with the President."
"Did you ever find out what the meeting was about?"
"No. But it must have been something really bad. Toby and the
President have both been in a foul mood ever since that night."
"I know." Sam looked at his friend for a minute. "What do you think
happened?"
"I don't know. Do you think Toby would tell you?"
"Josh. Toby and I don't have that `talking' kind of a relationship.
We never talk about our personal lives to each other. You know that.
He doesn't have that kind of a relationship with anyone."
"He seems to talk to C.J quite a bit."
"Well, he has known her a lot longer than anyone else."
"That and he wants her."
"Josh."
"What?"
"Who doesn't?"
"Good point."
Both men smiled and laughed.
"Joshua Lyman."
Both the men turned around and saw Donna standing there.
"Yes, Donna?"
"Do you know what time it is?"
Josh looked at his watch and looked back up at Donna.
"It's one thirty, Donna."
"I know what time it is!" Donna said while smacking Josh on the
head. "Do you remember your meeting with Mary Marsh at one fifteen?"
"Oh crap. I gotta go, Sam. Talk to Toby, will ya?"
Josh darted down the hall, pushing everyone in his way out of the way.
"I swear, if that man's head wasn't attached to him, he would leave
it somewhere and have me go find it."
Sam couldn't help but laugh. He knew she was right. Josh was the most
disorganized man he knew.
"How do you put up with him?" Sam asked jokingly
"Because he still has the cutest little butt in politics." She smiled,
and saw Sam do the same. "Why did he want you to talk to Toby?"
"We got a thing. Don't worry about it. If I were you I would go and
see if Mary Marsh has killed Josh yet."
Donna smiled and started down the hall. Sam stood there for a minute
and then decided to go talk to Toby.
When he got to the Communications bullpen, he saw that Toby's blinds
were closed and his door was shut. He also saw C.J. standing outside
his office.
"What going on, C.J.?"
"Something is seriously wrong with Toby."
"Why?"
"Sam, have you seen him recently? He looks like he hasn't slept in a
week and he hasn't eaten either. He looks like hell."
"Did you talk to him?"
"No, he won't talk about anything unless it has something to do with
work. Even that he doesn't seem interested in."
"He has been like this since that night."
"What night?"
"When he had a meeting with Leo and the President."
"When was that?"
"Last Wednesday, remember?"
"Last Wednesday I went home early because I was sick, remember?" C.J.
said sarcastically.
"Oh, that's right. Sorry, I forgot."
"Anyway, what happened?"
"I don't know. That's the thing. After he left the President's office,
he came in and heard some of the jokes we had to come up with for the
Correspondence Dinner, then he went into his office and never talked to
anyone."
"What did they talk about?"
"I don't know, C.J. But whatever it was really got to Toby and the
President."
"C.J.," Carol said as she came into the bullpen.
"Yeah?"
"The press is ready for you."
"Thanks, Carol."
Carol smiled and left.
"Sam. Try and talk to him. He needs some help."
"Why does everyone think that he will talk to me?"
"Because deep inside, Sam, he trusts you. Now get your ass in there
and make him all right."
"Yes, Ms. Cregg."
"Don't get cute with me, Sam Seaborn."
"I can't help it." Sam smiled at C.J. as she gave him a glare and
walked out, heading towards the pressroom.
Sam turned his body and faced Toby's office. He knew that this was
going to be a long shot, but he wanted to make sure that Toby was okay.
"Go away!" Toby said after hearing the knocking on his door.
"Toby, it's me."
"Go away, Sam."
Sam ignored Toby and opened the door.
"Sam, you really don't take orders very well, do you?" Toby asked while
turning away from Sam.
"Toby?"
"Sam, I swear, if you don't go away I will throw you out the window."
Sam could see that Toby was really mad, but he closed the door and
came closer to Toby. Toby knew that Sam was still in the room. He
could sense it.
"Didn't I just ask you to leave?"
"Yes, but I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong with you."
"Sam..."
"No, Toby, let me talk. You remember when I slept with Laurie and I
thought that I was in big trouble? Well, you helped me through that.
Sure, you made fun of me, but you also made sure that I was not going
to get hurt from that. And I came out of it fine. Thanks to you." Sam
came closer and put his hands on Toby's shoulders. "You are like a
big brother to me, Toby, let me help you like you helped me."
"I can't."
"You can't what?"
"Tell you."
"Why?"
"Because I just can't." Toby stood and passed Sam very quickly. Sam
noticed something on Toby's face that he had never seen before.
"Toby?"
"What?"
"Have you been crying?"
"No! Why do you say that?"
Sam got closer to Toby and looked at his face.
"Because your eyes are all puffy and your cheeks are all wet."
"I had something in my eye."
"Toby..."
"Sam, please, will you just go away?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because you are my friend and in my heart, you're my brother. I want
to help you."
Toby looked at Sam and saw that he was very serious. Toby knew that
Sam meant every word he had just said.
"Sam."
"Yea?"
"I really can't tell you."
"Damn, Toby, you are one stubborn son of a bitch, you know that?"
"Sam..."
"No, I tell you everything, Toby, and I still don't know anything
about you..."
"Sam, will you shut up? I didn't say I didn't `want' to tell you. I
said I `couldn't' tell you. The President asked me not to tell anyone
this; you know, that if he says that, you really need to keep it to
yourself."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to..."
"Don't apologize, Sam, you're right: I haven't told you anything about
me. I'm sorry. I just don't like talking about myself a lot. But this
thing that I know, you will know soon, but until then, I can't tell
you. Do you understand?"
"Yeah, it must be really important if the President asked you to keep
it to yourself."
"Yeah, it is."
The two men stood there in silence. Sam looked up and saw that Toby's
eyes were watering up. Sam got closer and put his hand on Toby's
shoulders. Toby looked up and saw Sam staring at him.
"Toby?"
"Yeah?"
"Whatever it is, we'll get through it."
Toby smiled and looked at Sam.
"Thanks, Sam."

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