"And see if you can cancel my 1:30 appointment with Chris Wick. He gets on my nerves." Josh finished reciting his list of things to do to Donna, looked around furtively to make sure no one was watching, and added, "And we're still on for tonight, right?"

Donna nodded. "Yup."

"Okay. I gotta find Sam. Bye."

Sam was sitting in his office with his feet up on his desk, a pencil in one hand, and his nose buried a long, boring, badly written, nearly unreadable and highly inaccurate tome about the native tribes of Africa and how civilisation was encroaching on their territory.

"You look like you would love to be interrupted," Josh observed from his position in Sam's doorway.

"You have no idea," Sam replied, scribbling a note before gratefully shutting the book. "Come in, but make it quick. I need to get this done. If I do this on schedule I'll only be three days behind with some of my other stuff."

Josh leaned on the desk and casually knocked Sam's feet off, eliciting a half-hearted protest. "This won't take long. Listen, you know there's that annual charity festival kind of thing coming up? And they're holding it in Washington this year?"

"Yeah." Sam picked up one of the many folders on his desk and started flipping through it, having decided that whatever Josh was here for only needed half an ear.

"And they have that whole entertainment section where they get famous people to do... stuff?" Josh seemed nervous.

"Yeah. Last year they had David Hasselhof, so they must be getting pretty damn desperate." Sam chewed his pencil thoughtfully as he read a particularly obtuse paragraph.

"They are, because a guy came here for entries."

"Huh. So?"

"So I signed you up for the boxing match."

Sam bit through the pencil. "You *what*?!" he sputtered, spitting out splinters of wood and pieces of lead.

Josh protectively held his hands up in front of him as he backed towards the door, mentally cursing himself for being stupid enough to close it. "Now, take it easy. I had to – the guy was so persuasive. It's for kids, you know, and he was very convincing. Almost brought a tear to my eye."

"So you sign *yourself* up for something! Not me! Why *me*?" Sam advanced threateningly, poking an accusatory finger at Josh.

"There was nothing that really suited me..." Josh explained, feeling behind him for the doorknob. "And yours was the first name that came to mind. And it's for charity!"

"You know what you can do with your charity?!" Sam got a grip on himself with a visible effort. "And may I ask who I am going to be fighting?"

Josh swallowed. "Uh. Toby." To his surprise, instead of freaking out at this news, Sam relaxed.

"Well, Toby'll never go for it."

"Actually, Toby was in the room." Josh opened the door and backed out into the hall. "I told you the guy was persuasive."

"Toby agreed to this?!"

"He was quite enthusiastic. Um. After I suggested it."

"Josh! Donna said you'd be here."

"CJ! Thank God!" Josh very nearly hid behind the press secretary.

"Yes," said CJ, raising her eyebrows. Such an enthusiastic reaction to her presence was not all that common these days. "Hi, Sam."

"Hi," Sam growled through clenched teeth, staring balefully at Josh.

"I see you signed up for the charity thing - against Toby, too. That was brave of you." CJ smiled brightly. "I'm looking forward to seeing it. As are quite a few of the ladies around here, I hear." Sam looked taken aback, Josh looked jealous. CJ didn't notice as she continued, "That's why I'm here. The man that was taking entries came to see me. He was very impressive, wasn't he? He made me cry, the way he described the condition of some of these children, and he said they needed entries, so I said I'd do the Jackal."

Sam blinked. The guy must have been compelling indeed, to convince Josh, Toby and CJ – who were not usually easily swayed - to do something at the event.

"What's that have to do with me?" Josh asked suspiciously. Maybe she wanted him to sing backup or something.

"Well, Chip – his name was Chip – said that he'd been to see you but you weren't going to do anything." CJ gave him an accusing look. "Really, Josh, if Sam is spunky enough to go up against his boss in a boxing ring, I think you could at least *try* and do something."

"Nothing suited me," said Josh, weakly, as Sam mouthed "spunky?"

"I saw something that suited you perfectly," replied CJ, smiling again. "It was in the adults-only section."

Josh squinted as he tried to remember the list of "events" Chip had given him. "Oh, no..."

"Yes. I wrote your name down for the strip show. And don't worry, it's after Sam's boxing match, so the ladies will be able to come and watch. And may I say, they can't wait."

"Oh, no."

Sam was smiling wickedly. "Oh, Josh, you can't back out now. Think how disappointed your fans would be."

"Come on, Joshua, you don't even have to go the full Monty."

"The full *what?!*They haven't... they... CJ, I can't! It's... unseemly! I'm the deputy Chief of Staff for the White House, for crying out loud! The press would have a field day!"

"I think it shows a willing spirit," Sam said. CJ agreed, adding that she had already run it by Leo, and he had said it was fine.

"I don't care. It's not too late to back out; nobody knows yet."

"Actually, they're announcing the line-up right now." CJ grinned demonically. "Your fan club will probably contribute a large amount to the charity fund. Think how many children you'd be helping."

"Yeah, Josh. Think of the children."

Josh stared at his friends, trying to come up with a good reason to back out. Unfortunately, his best excuse had already been shot down.

He was beaten, and they knew it. Josh hung his head in resignation, then brightened. There was one last person he could appeal to.

"CJ!"

CJ rolled her eyes. "I'm busy, Danny."

"I hear you're going to do the Jackal at that charity thing."

"Yes."

"I'm going to come, and I'm going to bring all my friends so we can laugh at you the next day."

"You have friends?"

"Also, I hear Josh is stripping."

Why bother insulting him? CJ wondered. Water off a duck's back. Waste of energy. "Well, that's interesting news."

"It sure shows a willing spirit, huh?"

"What do you want, Danny?"

"I just wanted you to know," Danny said, leering, "that if you want to maybe practise in front of someone and, I don't know, get some feedback, I'd be happy to volunteer."

CJ hid a smile. "Danny-"

"I'm just saying."

"Go away."

"Okay."

Knock, knock. Toby looked up irritably. "Make it good!" he snapped.

Damn it, Ginger had been told to keep people away from him until he was finished with this speech. Never trust anyone to do anything, ever, Toby decided. Oh no, he added mentally as Sam poked his head around the door. Just what he needed – Mr. Cheerful.

"Hi," said Sam.

"Whaddaya want?"

Having dispensed with the formalities, Sam explained his presence, getting straight to the point. "Well, I was talking to Josh and he said you signed up for a boxing match against me. He said you were enthusiastic."

An expression flickered over Toby's face that, had it been anyone else, Sam would have said was embarrassment. "Yes," he said. "Chip was very..."

"Persuasive?"

"Yes."

"I wouldn't have thought you were the type, Toby."

"Well, what with Chip on one side arguing that it would help kids, and Josh on the other side insisting that it would relieve stress, I had to say yes so they'd get the hell out of my office."

"I'm going to kill Josh," Sam decided.

"Feel free. No doubt it would relieve a great amount of stress. For all of us."

"You're not going through with this, are you?"

Toby paused, not wanting to say that he was looking forward to finally kicking someone's ass. "It's too late to back out now," he said eventually.

"I can't fight you, Toby."

"No one says you have to hit back, Sam."

Sam stared at his boss for a long moment before giving up. "I have work to do, so I'm going to go now. We'll talk about this later."

"Not if I can help it," Toby muttered, and turned back to his speech.

*****

"Josh! Congratulations. I didn't think you had it in you."

"Sir?" Josh stared at the President in confusion.

"This stripping thing. Wow, that takes guts."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, sir. I can't do it."

POTUS looked shocked. "Why not?"

"Think about it, sir! The press would go nuts! It's... undignified."

"You know, I've thought about that."

"Yes, sir?"

"I don't care." POTUS grinned. "I want to see this. Of course, since they probably won't let me go, I'll have to get CJ to take a video camera and –"

"Sir!"

"Well, Leo can't take one, because Leo has to stay here and run the White House for me."

"But-"

"We'll be fine without you for a few hours." The President smiled and patted Josh on the shoulder, laughing inwardly at his expression.

"So, don't you worry about a thing, Josh. You just do your thing."

"Thank you, sir." Josh shuffled away to his office, feeling more depressed than he would have thought possible, considering that it was such a nice day.

Donna was waiting in his office, a huge grin on her face.

"Shut up," he warned, slumping into his chair.

"I didn't say anything," she replied smugly.

He glared at her. "I despair of you sometimes, Donatella Moss."

"I hear you're going to be stripping."

"Word spreads fast," Josh groaned.

"I've been fielding calls for the last fifteen minutes, mostly from your fan club, wanting to know if it's really true so they can buy tickets."

"How did I get a fan club, anyway?"

Donna smiled at him. "Anyway, I can't wait to see it."

"Well, thank you so much for your support."

"You're very welcome."

Josh covered his face with his hands and wondered if it was too late to become a priest.

"Encroaching... infringing? Transgressing? Trespassing?"

"You know, Sam, you walk around talking to yourself like that and people are gonna start thinking you're a little weird."

Sam looked up, surprised. "Oh, hey, Josh. Know any synonyms for 'encroaching'?"

Josh blinked. "Uh... Intruding?"

Sam nodded thoughtfully. "Could work... yeah, thanks."

Josh licked his lips nervously. "So, this charity thing is pretty soon, huh?"

"Tomorrow. And let me tell you..." Sam grinned. "The only thing keeping me sane at the moment is the thought that you had an 'exotic dancer' in here yesterday to teach you some moves."

A flush crept up to Josh's ears. "What I do during my lunch break is none of your business."

"Uh huh. Synonym for outrageous, only stronger?"

"Appalling?"

"Thanks."

"Hey, do you know if there's an age limit on... you know, becoming a priest?"

Sam stared at Josh curiously for a moment. "No, no, I think that you can be called by God at any age."

"You have to actually be called by God? Damn. Can't I call him? I guess he's a busy man- er, being. Maybe I could fax him or something."

"Sam! Where's that first draft?!" Toby's voice carried easily down the corridor. He did not sound happy.

Sam flinched. "Why couldn't I have chosen something easier to do with my life?" he sighed, by way of farewell. "Like lion taming. I would've been good at lion taming."

"Look at it this way," Josh called to Sam's retreating back. "This is basically the same thing, except the chair and the whip are metaphorical."

"That makes me feel so much better."

Josh smiled to himself, then checked his watch. Damn... he was late for today's dance lesson.

The festival had several large circus-type tents set up here and there for different events, with one stage out in the open. At the moment, that stage was occupied by the Press Secretary for the White House.

"And they call me... the Jackal." CJ couldn't stop a giggle from escaping as she wound up The Jackal. She'd never done it in front of a large audience before, and it had been very well received. The crowd applauded madly as she walked offstage.

"Doesn't she have a great laugh?" Danny asked dreamily, staring at CJ.

Josh, who had filmed The Jackal with the camera that CJ had brought along, had to admit that he thought she did, even though *he* wasn't in love with her.

"How was it?" CJ asked eagerly as she joined the two men.

"Great," Josh assured her.

"Spectacular," said Danny, still looking decidedly enchanted.

"Where's Toby?"

"He and Sam had to get ready for their... heh... boxing match." Josh didn't even try to prevent a huge grin from spreading over his face.

Danny managed to get a coherent thought together and say, "Hey, you know, I'd be happy to explain boxing to you in a patronizing way."

To Danny, CJ said, "Okay," and to Josh, putting on a disappointed expression, she said, "They missed it?"

"No, just the last little bit. And I got it on tape, so they can see that later."

Danny focused on the camera. "Can I get a copy of that?"

"How long 'til they start?"

Josh glanced at his watch. "Uh, five minutes."

CJ grinned. "I get to see Sam wearing nothing but those boxer-short- like thingies boxers wear." Then another thought occurred to her.

"Hey, I get to see *Toby* wearing nothing but those boxer-short-like thingies boxers wear."

Josh beamed delightedly. "POTUS chose their shorts personally, you know." Then his smile dimmed as he added, "He also chose my costume."

CJ laughed, causing Danny to go weak at the knees. "Look on the bright side, Josh. Whatever costume he chose, at least you won't be wearing it for long."

CJ, Danny and Josh arrived just as the ref announced the beginning of round 1.

"Now they hit each other, and the first one to fall down loses," Danny explained patronizingly. CJ slapped him upside the head.

Sam, who was wearing patriotic stars and stripes shorts, and Toby, who had yelled at the President about improvised speeches, and was therefore wearing embarrassing powder-blue teddy bear shorts, advanced warily, meeting in the middle of the boxing ring, which had been specially set up for the occasion.

"Toby," Sam said firmly, "I've told you before, and I'll tell you again: I am *not* going to fight you!"

"So don't," said Toby expressionlessly.

"Toby-" Sam was cut off by a right hook to the face. He stumbled back a step. "Toby!"

Toby hit him again, and Sam's bewilderment was replaced by anger.

"Toby..." he repeated warningly. Toby hit him again. "Okay, that's *it*!" Sam yelled, patience exhausted. "I've had it up to *here* with being pushed around by you!"

"I *am* your boss," Toby pointed out, and hit him again. This time, quite unexpectedly, Sam hit back. And, much to the delight of the assembled crowd, the fight was on.

Shortly afterwards, it was Josh's turn.

He stood behind the curtain in his tent, trembling with terror.

Disjointed thoughts ran through his mind. It wasn't too late to back out. What *had* POTUS been thinking with this costume? Pirates didn't wear pink eye patches. And what was with the wooden sword? At least Donna hadn't been allowed to come. And Joey. Joey was still at work.

But CJ was out there with a camera. His master plan of using all the film on CJ, Sam and Toby hadn't worked. The President had hinted at curry and a look at CJ's video for everyone. Maybe he could kill CJ? No, then Danny would record him as revenge and the tape would get out anyway. He double-checked his pink shirt for the millionth time, ensuring that it was easy to tear off. Oh, God, how was he going to face his Secret Service detail after this?

He didn't hear his name being announced, but all of a sudden "You sexy thing" was playing, the audience was cheering wildly, and someone was shoving him through the curtain. He observed the crowded tent from his slightly elevated point, giving a camera-holding CJ a sick look. Then he closed his eyes, stopped thinking, and started...

showing a willing spirit.

The audience cheered.

Mandy's mouth twitched as her colleagues stumbled into the West Wing.

CJ was the only one that looked normal. Sam was gingerly holding an ice pack under his left eye and had another balanced on the back of his right hand, while Toby had one firmly duct-taped to the top of his head. The tape looped under his chin, making it rather difficult to talk. It was going to take many slow-motion replays to find out how he had received *that* particular injury. Josh had neglected to think of what he would do once he had ripped off all his clothes, and as a result was wearing a too-small neon yellow sweatshirt and black leather pants, both borrowed from enthusiastic supporters of his venture. He looked slightly disheveled. Danny stood beside them, trying to blend in.

"Hello," she said, smirking.

"Mmf," mumbled Toby, Josh and Sam. CJ said, "Hi!"

"We all watched the little bits they showed on the news," Mandy informed them, as Donna and Joey walked up.

"The President wants to see you all as soon as you get in," said Donna, winking at Josh. "And you're in, so..."

They sighed. Danny said, "Can I come?"

"CJ!" The President sounded annoyingly cheerful as he rose to greet them. "Great job! They didn't show it all, but we'll watch the tape tonight."

"That fight was interesting," Leo dead-panned from his position opposite the President.

"Yes," agreed POTUS. "My favourite part was when Sam jumped Toby and started pounding him and screaming, 'That's for calling my writing shabby, you geriatric bastard!'"

"And what did Toby say in reply?" Leo thought for a moment. "Ah, yes, 'Are you calling me old, you juvenile moron?'"

Sam smiled, then winced. The ice pack fell off his hand, and he stared at it morosely for a moment before picking it up, clutching surreptitiously at his ribs as he straightened. Toby just stood there, looking ridiculous. At least his ice pack wouldn't fall off.

"Someone should teach you a few things about boxing," the President said reprovingly. "For instance, kicking pulling is *not* allowed."

Sam blushed. "I wouldn't have kicked him if he hadn't pulled my hair," he protested feebly.

"And hitting below the belt is generally discouraged," Leo added.

Toby had the good grace to look abashed, while Sam grimaced at the memory.

"I won, didn't I?" Toby muttered sulkily.

"No, neither of you won. If you recall, you were both disqualified."

"So we both won."

POTUS sighed. "Anyway. Unfortunately, the news showed nothing of Josh."

Josh sagged with relief.

"So we'll save that part for tonight's highlight."

Josh groaned softly. CJ laughed. "You'll love the part when he was trying to get off the stage, and that group of girls mobbed him and pulled off his-"

"CJ!" Josh snapped.

"Last remaining piece of clothing," CJ finished defiantly. That even wrung a smile from Toby.

"At least this year's Christmas presents are taken care of," mused Mandy. "Copies of that tape for everyone."

"Including me?" Danny asked hopefully, then, as the President looked at him speculatively, "Uh, I gotta go write an article." He left.

"And I," CJ said reluctantly, "have to go and prepare a press briefing. Danny brought all his friends, and they're going to want to laugh at us."

"And I've got to get back to that thing with Africa," Sam said.

"And I have a speech to write," Toby put in.

"Okay. Everything sorted between you two? No hard feelings?" No, apparently. No hard feelings. "Maybe you should shake on it?"

Sam blinked. "My hands are full."

"Okay. See you tonight."

CJ, Sam and Toby went their separate ways, greeting Mrs Landingham on their way out. The President looked at Josh, Mandy and Leo in silence for a while. Eventually he said, "Well?"

"Oh, yeah, I have that meeting..." Josh looked down and examined his outfit. "Maybe I'd better find some real clothes. Donna must be hanging around here somewhere..." Josh wandered away in search of better clothing.

"I, I, I have that thing with the zoo," said Mandy, and followed Josh.

Leo and Jed eyed each other for a beat, then Leo said, "Well, I guess we have work to do."

It was, once again, a beautiful day in Washington. Even the birds were taking the day off. And pretty soon, everyone was just too damn busy to notice.