Now they were on their way back to the White House and hardly any one was speaking. In the limo carrying Sam and the rest of the senior staff, Josh tried to make some joke, but it pretty much fell on deaf ears. It was clear that everyone was thinking about what was going to happen in the next while and they wanted to save their speech for when they got back to the White House.

They arrived back at the White House about two hours after they orignally left. It was still raining hard and everyone tried to keep dry as they walked back inside. As they got inside, the President immediatly started walking at a fast pace towards the Oval Office. Everyone ran after him to try and keep up and nobody seemed to notice when Sam quietly detached himself from the group and slipped down another hallway.

The President walked into the Oval Office and over to his desk. He did not turn around to face the rest of the staff as they filed in behind him. Everyone stood in wordless silence waiting for the President to speak. Finally Leo broke that silence.

"Sir." he said.

Bartlet drew in a deep breath, let it out slowly and turned to face his staff.

"Okay." he said putting his hands together and looking around at them all. He frowned when he noticed that Sam was not among him. "Where's Sam?"

The rest of the senior staff turned to look around the room. They had all figured that the Deputy Communications Director had come in with them.

"We didn't leave him did we?" Bartlet asked, concerned.

It was Toby who answered. "No." he said shaking his head. "He was with us in the limo."

"He must have gone off by himself." CJ said quietly. "I know I want to." she added

Josh nodded, reaching out to put a comforting hand on CJ's shoulder. He turned sad eyes on Bartlet and Leo. Despite the good news, everyone was to whiped out to feel very happy. "Sir." he said quietly.

Bartlet help up a hand to forstall anything further. "I know." he said quietly. "Why don't you all go find him, bring him back here and then we can talk about things we should have already talked about."

"Yes sir." the three corused quietly.

As they left the room, the First Lady came in carrying what looked to be dry clothes for Jed.

Josh, CJ and Toby all decided to split up and then told the secret service if they saw anything to let them know. After a good twenty minutes of searching, it was Toby who finally found him down in the mess.

Toby stood quietly outside and watched his deputy for a few moments, trying to assess the situation. Sam had seemed not to notice him at all. He was sitting at one of the tables, head down and his hands around what looked to be a coffee cup. Toby sighed quietly and stepped inside.

"Sam?" he said trying not to sound to gruff. "We've been looking all over for you. You were starting to give us a little bit of a scare there." Toby added, getting a brief flash of another time and place when something like this had happened.

Sam jumped slightly when Toby started speaking. He didn't look up at his boss, nor did answer.

"Sam?" Toby said again, coming a little bit further into the room.

"I'm surprised you even noticed I was missing." Sam answered him quietly after a moment

Toby opened his mouth to respond when his cell phone went off. He grabbed it out of his pocket and flipped it open.

"Yeah." he growled into it.

"Toby." It was Josh's voice and it sounded somewhat frantic. "CJ and I can't find him."

"I found him." Toby told the worried Deputy Chief of Staff. "We're down in the mess."

"How is he?" Josh asked quietly.

Toby glanced over at Sam but was unable to get a very difinitive answer. Sam had yet to look up at him. "Not to good." Toby finally said. "I'm going to try and talk to him."

"Ok. I'll tell the President." Josh said. "Come back up to the Oval Office when your ready."

"Yeah."

Josh sighed over the phone. "Go easy on him."

"I will." Toby reassured the other man. "Talk to you later."

"Yeah." Josh said and cut the connection.

Toby turned off his phone and dropped it back down in his pocket. He looked at his Deputy again and sighed softly. He knew he need to get Sam talking, but he also knew that he wasn't very good at this sort of thing. He suddenly started wishing that he maybe should have gotten Josh down here.

The silence after Toby had stopped talking, continued to stretch out. Both men seemed to be waiting for the other to make a move of some sorts. Finally, Toby decided to just dive in.

"Why didn't you come see me that night after the President talked to you." Toby asked, a bit more roughly than he intended to sound. "I told you I would be in my office."

"Toby. Why don't you just leave." Sam said angrily, still not looking up and not answering the question either.

Toby shook his head and crossed his arms. "Nope. I'm gonna stay thanks." he said and then added. "And I would like it if you would answer my question."

"Toby, dammit!" Sam growled as he stood up, turning angry eyes on him "Leave! Now!"

Toby unconciously took a step backwards at the angry tone of Sam's voice. He didn't particularly want to get into any sort of fight with his deputy, but if it meant getting him talking then maybe.

Sam continued to glare angrily at his boss, hoping that his glare would be enough to scare him off. He didn't really want to talk to anyone right now, and that was why he had slipped away when they had come in. He would go back upstairs when he was good and ready, if ever. Right now he just wanted Toby to leave.

Toby however wasn't going anywhere. He took a step forward to prove his point, hoping his deputy wouldn't decide to try something. "Why Sam?" he asked again.

"Why does it matter?!" Sam snapped.

"Because I could have kept you from getting to the point your in right now!" Toby shot back. "At least I may have been able to deflect some of your anger!"

"Maybe I like being angry!" Sam returned

Toby snorted and rolled his eyes. "Please." he said

"I could handle it myself." Sam bit back, between clenched teeth. "I'm a big boy you know."

"Just like Josh thought..." Toby bit his lip immediatly to keep himself from saying anything more. He immediatly regretted even starting to say what he had been thinking, but it was something that had been on his mind lately among all the other things. Toby closed his eyes for a second to calm himself and when he opened them, he noticed that Sam had gone deathly pale.

"Sam." Toby whispered. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." He trailed off when he watched as Sam's legs gave way beneth him, sending the young man back down in the seat he had been sitting in.

"Sam!" Toby said concerned as he crossed the distance to the table and took a seat across from his deputy. He reached out and placed a hand on Sam's arm. He was somewhat amazed when Sam didn't shake it off. "Sam, I'm sorry."

Sam looked up at him, tears glistening in his blue eyes. "You think about it to don't you?"

"Yeah." Toby said quietly, looking away from the anguish in Sam's eyes. "I don't think I've ever really stopped thinking about it." he added thruthfully

"I had..." Sam stopped and cleared his throat. "I had actually stopped having the nightmares a couple of months ago, but they have been back full force since the night we were told about Mrs. Landingham." he looked over at Toby and cleared his throat again. "I keep hearing your cry for help and then it turns into her scream as that car..." he cut himself off and shook his head. "I've always had an active imagination." he tried to laugh, but it came out as a chocked sob.

Toby's own imagination supplied him with a picture of what Sam had said and he flinched. "Damn." he swore softly

He looked back up at Sam and found him watching him with tears running freely down his face. Toby squeezed the arm under his hand. "Its gonna be ok Sam." he said, trying to sound confident.

Sam shook his head frantically. "No its not." he sobbed "None of this..." he trailed off, unable to speak past the tears clogging his throat.

Toby squeezed his arm gently again and very quietly got up and moved his chair to sit beside his deputy Without a word he reached out and wrapped his arms around Sam's shaking shoulders, drawing the young man into a tight, comforting embrace.

Sam resisted for a moment before collapsing against him with a sob.

Toby stroked Sam's hair as the young man began to cry. He rocked him a little, trying to calm him. However he knew Sam just needed to cry.

"It hurts." Sam managed to gasp out at one point.

"I know." Toby told him quietly. "I know it does. Just let it out, its ok."

Toby understood what he was talking about. Sam had been through so much this year and it was slowly breaking him and wearing him down. Toby had started to think that Sam was going to actually, maybe be ok when he had started talking to his dad again, but then all this hit and it had shattered what little leverage Sam had gained. It actually hurt Toby to see Sam this way. He thought of his deputy as his younger brother, granted he might not ever admit that out loud, but he did none the less. And it just hurt him to hear the anguish sobbing coming from Sam and it hurt to know that he had caused some of this himself when he had stopped listening to him back several weeks ago. It just hurt

Toby continued to sooth Sam and let out a few quiet tears off his own. He wondered if any of them were ever going to be ok again. He wished he could wave some magic wand and take all these problems away, but he couldn't.

Sam continued to cry for several more minutes, before he finally calmed down. Toby didn't let him go until Sam had collected himself enough to pull away.

"Thanks." Sam said quietly, running a hand across his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't apoligize." Toby told him.

Sam shook his head. "Its just." he shrugged and glanced briefly at his boss.

Toby smiled saddly and reached over to gently push some hair away from Sam's face. "I know Sam." he said quietly "And I'm sorry."

Sam looked up at him and quietly held Toby's gaze for a second, before looking away. He nodded his head, seeming to understand all of what Toby hadn't said.

They were silent for a long moment. Finally Toby sqeezed Sam's shoulder "Tell me what your thinking or what you've been thinking, besides..." Toby broke off, unable to say it out loud. "You know."

Sam sighed and didn't answer him for a long moment. "I'm angry." he said finally. "I'm angry and I'm scared and I'm confused and I just don't know how to handle anything any more." he stopped for a brief moment to collect his thoughts. "Toby I don't think I can take any more of this. I don't know if I can face what is about to happen."

Toby sighed softly "Sam, I'm scared to." he addmited and smiled a sad little smile when Sam looked at him. "But you can face this, I know you can."

Sam shook his head "I don't think so Toby." he said "I just...I don't..." he trailed off, unable to continue.

Toby didn't say anything for a long moment. Suddenly an idea did come to him and he prayed silently that Sam would understand the reference and that this didn't go badly.

"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens." Toby quoted quietly.

Sam didn't respond for a moment. "Tolkien." he supplied softly "The Lord of the Rings."

Toby smiled, somewhat relieved. "You've read it."

Sam nodded his head and looked up at his boss. A brief smile played across his lips. "I read it for the first time back in High School and i've read it pretty much every year since then. I only started reading it because there was a character named Sam in it."

"Did you know that they are making a movie out of it?" Toby asked

Sam shook his head "No, I didn't."

Toby looked shocked. "Well, well. Something I finally knew that Sam Seaborn didn't. Will wonders ever cease."

Sam chuckled at that, earning a smile from Toby. Suddenly he sobbered "So what are you trying to say?" he asked

Toby looked at him seriously. "I think you know."

Sam looked away from him and didn't answer for a long moment.Some of the problem was that he couldn't believe that he was having this sort of a conversation with Toby of all people.

"I guess what your trying to say is that if Samwise was able to face all the situations that he was put up against, then I should be able to face them as well." he looked up at Toby to find his boss smiling a little at him. "I don't know Toby." he looked away again.

"You will be able to face them." Toby responded trying to sound confident. "But its not only that Sam." he stopped for a brief second to collect his thoughts. "Its the fact that Samwise and his friends banded together, and when they were faced with impossible odds, when they thought that everything was hopeless and the darkness just might win, they forged ahead and never gave up. They came through, maybe a little bit battered and worn down, but they came through and defeated the darkness." Toby paused a minute "Sam look at me."

Sam looked up at him and Toby made sure he had his full attention before he continued. "We can take a lesson from this. Our own darkness, if you will, is coming, but if we ban together we should be able to make it through more or less in one piece. We will have to patch up the cracks between us, but if we work hard enough we should be able to make it through."

Sam sighed "I guess your right."

"I know I'm right." Toby told him firmly, starting to feel a little bit better about things. He knew if they could just come together and work as a team then they might just make it and win reelection.

Sam smiled softly, but didn't say anything.

"We'll get reelected." Toby told him "And when we do, then we'll show them just what Bartlet is made of."

Sam chuckled. "Ok Gandalf."

Toby laughed himself, then patted his pocket. "You got a cigar. I can blow smoke rings to."

Sam burst out laughing and Toby joined in. After a moment, he stood up and offered his hand. "Come Samwise."

Sam stayed where he was for a moment.

Toby sighed. "Sam. I promise you we will get through this." he said softly. "Please don't give up. I also promise that we won't ever not listen to you again."

Sam glanced at him, hope shining in his eyes

"I promise." Toby repeated. "Lets go upstairs and tell them the story of The Lord of the Rings. I'm sure someone has read it."

Sam smiled "I'm sure Bartlet has." he sighed and took the profered hand and let Toby pull him to his feet.

Once he was standing, he turned serious eyes on his boss. "Toby we're also going to have to talk to them about..." he trailed off, unable to bring himself to say it, he heaved a sigh. "The Anniversary for Rosslyn..." he broke off shrugging.

Toby nodded, coming to his rescue "I know and we will."

Sam nodded and then smiled just a little. "Thanks Toby, for everything" he said quietly, holding his boss's gaze. "I didn't know you had it in you." he added

Toby smiled at him and then grew serious. "Your welcome. You know you can come to me when you need to talk." he said. "Don't forget that." he watched as Sam nodded and then smiled a little. "As for having it in me, don't tell anyone."

"Yes sir." Sam said, clapping him on the back. "You old softy."

Toby rolled his eyes. "Come Sam. Lets go." he started walking.

"Yes Mr. Frodo." Sam said and followed him

Toby threw a glance over his shoulder. "I thought I was Gandalf."

Sam chuckled as they left the mess. "Frankly Toby, you really don't look like a wizard."

"Oh really." he said

Their debate could be heard as they walked back upstairs and went to go join their friends. Their may be some problems now, but they were going to be ready for the fight ahead.