Josh slowly walked down the hall from Leo's office toward his own. The words that had stunned everyone into silence echoed in his ears and added ten pounds of worry to him. He entered the bullpen and saw Donna sitting at her computer, busily working. Seeming to sense his presence she stood up to give him his messages, but stopped short when she saw the hard look in his eyes.

He walked past her without a word and slammed the door to his office. Collapsing wearily into his chair, he scrubbed his hand over his face before raking it through his hair. He closed his eyes, but was haunted by images from Leo's office so he quickly snapped them open. Josh knew what he had to do, and was surprised to see his hand tremble ever so slightly as he reached for the phone.

It was only after he sat there with the receiver in his hand that he realized he didn't know the number. His door opened silently and Donna hesitated for a second in the doorway before quickly crossing the room and sliding a note in front of him. Josh looked up and caught her eyes. She flashed a slight smile and then left, closing the door behind her. Glancing at the paper in front of him he took a deep breath as he slowly dialed the phone.

***************

"James, when we're done here, I want you to call Pete and follow up on the Pittsburgh thing for next week."

James nodded, as did the others in the room when they received their final instructions from the meeting. The phone rang and the assistant quietly picked it up so the others wouldn't be disturbed. The meeting ground to a halt when he interrupted.

"Kathleen, Josh Lyman is on the phone."

She flashed a gracious smile and answered, "Thanks, Nick, could you ask him to hold?"

The rest of the room blinked in surprise. Not many people put the White House Deputy Chief of Staff on hold. They barely had time to process what he might be calling about before Kathleen was rapid-firing off the remaining duties.

Finishing with the meeting and the assignments, she signed several papers Nick handed her. He eyed the blinking light on the phone warily, trying to hurry from her office. Kathleen calmly concluded her business and then asked Nick to hold her calls as she finally sat down in her chair.

"Hi, Josh," she said as she punched the hold button. "Sorry to keep you waiting. I was finishing up a meeting with my staff."

"That's alright," Josh said flatly. "Thanks for taking my call."

When Josh paused, Kathleen broke the silence. "What's up, Josh? I doubt you called me in the middle of the day to shoot the breeze."

"Has he stopped by your office?"

She paused for a moment, a little surprised by the question. "Sam? No, I wasn't planning on seeing him today. What? You mean he snuck away and you guys need him back?"

"No," Josh stammered. "We just...we just wondered if he'd shown up there."

"Well unless he was planning on surprising me by taking me out to lunch - which would be blown now by the way - we didn't have plans. Let me guess though, if he does show up I should send him back? What is it now, Josh? Another penny crises? A speech Toby needs him to write only so he an totally change it around or make another drop-in?"

On the other end of the line, Josh blinked at the harshness in her voice. "What? No. Is that what he thinks?"

Kathleen kept a bitter laugh from escaping. "Josh, I really don't think it's my place to tell you what your supposed best friend is thinking, but yeah, that's pretty close to how he feels."

"I had no idea," Josh breath, running his hand through his hair repeatedly. "Kathleen, if he shows up there, could you have him call me?"

She leaned forward in her chair and asked, "Josh, what's wrong? Did something happen that you're not telling me about?"

"Sam...Sam kinda lost it in Leo's office."

"What do you mean?" All caustic jabs were forgotten, replaced with worry bordering on dread. "Josh..."

"Sam kinda blew up at us all in Leo's office. Said some things I had no idea he was even feeling."

Kathleen bit back the retort that it was because he never asked, and let Josh continue.

"Then he stormed out of the office and the White House."

"Josh, why didn't you say this sooner? How long ago did this happen?"

"About half an hour ago, maybe a little more."

She took a deep breath, willing herself to stay calm. "Okay. Okay. Thanks, Josh."

"Kathleen?"

His voice stopped her attempt to hang up the phone. It was hollow and tinny, somehow detached from the normal Josh she knew.

"What are you going to do?" He sounded like a petulant child asking his parents if they were going to punish him.

"I'm going to look for him, Josh. I have an idea where he might be. A thought that bothers me considering it's been raining all day, so I really should get going." She almost said good-bye and then softened her tone. "I'll call you when I know something."

A breath whooshed out over the line and she heard, "Thank you, Kathleen."

The phone clicked softly into place, and then she turned and stared out the window. Rain was pelting the glass, hitting almost sideways before sliding down in large rivulets.

"Oh, Sam," she whispered. "What happened?"

********************
She found him in the first place she looked, and the absolute last place she wanted him to be. Sitting in the pouring rain, hair plastered to his head, his suit coat discarded to the side, his white shirt so wet it was translucent. He was staring blankly in front of him and didn't hear her as she crunched over the wet gravel with her shoes.

"Sam?" she said as she approached. She wasn't surprised when he didn't look up. Even when she knelt in front of him he continued to stare with unseeing eyes straight-ahead. Slowly she reached out and placed her hand on his knee.

"Sam?" she repeated, a little stronger this time.

Slowly he blinked and focused his eyes on her, recognition crossing his features. He tried to smile at her, but only succeeded in briefly raising the corners of his mouth.

"So, had a bit of a nutty today?" she asked. His eyes briefly flickered, with what she wasn't sure, but they hardened when she added that Josh had called her.

"Alright, sorry," she apologized. "We don't have to talk about them or what happened. Not until you want to. Right now I wanna get you home and out of this rain."

He made no effort to move as she stood up and so she reached down and tugged on his hand. "Come on, Sam. You're soaked to the skin, and you know how this place gives me the willies."

Sam raised one eyebrow at her and a half smile graced his face. "Sorry."

"Don't you dare apologize," she said with quiet firmness. "I know you claim it clears your head to come up here and think, but frankly I don't like standing this close to the edge of a building four stories up. I like my feet safely on the ground."

She took a step back, hoping he'd get up from the edge he was sitting on. He stood up, but didn't move forward. Kathleen didn't know which was worse; him sitting on the ledge surrounding the roof four stories up, or standing right beside it where if he took a step back he could trip and fall over the edge. It was time to play dirty.

Cocking her hip to the side she looked at him through her eyelashes and said, "Are you going to stand there in the rain all day, or are you going to follow me inside so you can get out of those wet clothes?"

He gave a brief hollow laugh and then walked toward her and wrapped his arm around her waist. Leaning against her he followed her to the stairwell door and out of the rain.

*****************

"Josh Lyman's office," Donna said answering the phone, then she paused. "One minute."

She looked up at Josh who was outside his office talking with Toby. "Josh, Kathleen's on the phone."

Josh looked at Toby and then hurried into his office closing the door behind him. When he opened the door several long minutes later, Donna and Toby were looking at him expectantly.

"She found him last night on top of his apartment building," Josh told them.

"Was he going to jump?" Donna gasped.

"No, no. Apparently he goes up there to think," Josh explained. "Claims it relaxes him."

"Josh," Toby grit out, wanting to get him back on track.

"Right. She got him inside, but he didn't want to talk. So she didn't push, she just stayed with him. This morning she woke up and he was packing. Said he was going to take his boat out."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Donna said.

"Kathleen felt the same way. She managed to convince him not to take his boat, but he made her drop him off at the airport."

"Did she say where he was going?" Toby asked.

"She doesn't know. He didn't know. He made her drop him off, and he was just going to take the first flight he could. To anywhere."

"You better tell Leo," Toby told him. "I better go figure out what his schedule was."

Toby walked off, leaving Josh with Donna.

"Josh?" she asked, mirroring his concerned look.

"I don't know Donna. I hope so. I gotta go talk to Leo."