God of War: Part 31


Lynn Jepsen


We don't know the injury count yet.

I didn't understand that the first time around. President Bartlet walked
around for nine days muttering that before he sat down and asked, "What's
next?" The second time around, that was CJ's line. Now, it's mine.

Medically, Josh is fine. Okay, not fine so much as alive and breathing.
Rachel and Diana let him back in the building today, and if it hadn't
been for the soft rasping of his breath during staff, or the swagger
disrupted by a reliance on a cane, one might have thought life was back
to normal.

He called me 'Mr. President' this morning. That's a first since... since.
This is our divider. Bartlet had Rosslyn. Hoynes had New York. Cordova
had New York too. I have this thing.

Josh has latched on to Elle. She's having this hands on learning
experience, and I'm sure she'd appreciate it more if she wasn't six.
She's bouncing around next door - I can hear her. It's comforting. My
daughter and my best friend at play - background music to create a
nation.

Religious freedom.

Intolerance.

They suck.

Lily came back to work eleven days ago. I'm sure she could have stayed
out longer, but with Josh still at half speed, we needed the manpower.
Besides, CJ is burned out, and Toby is even quieter. Diana was at Josh's
side, and Lisa withdrew from all of us.

I am the President.

I was the President alone.

I had always assumed that this, like everything else we had done, was a
team sport. True, Toby couldn't orchestra drop-ins whenever he wanted,
and Josh asked me what our legislative priorities were, but I never.....

I am the President of the United States.

The first term was practice.

The last ten weeks was the refiner's fire.

Now there comes four years of steel.

I am the President of the United States.

*

"Daddy!" Elle flings herself into my arms when I open the door. Josh
should be propped up on the couch, not sitting at his desk. He rises when
I walk in, and I want to yell at him. I want to order him to take care of
himself. I won't. Josh is still Josh.

We don't know the injury count yet.

"Mr. President." Sit your ass down. Surprisingly, he does, and I whisper
into Elle's ear, and she cleans up the puzzle pieces littering the floor.
How are you feeling? "Don't turn into Leo." I won't. I'll just ask you
every day until you stop looking like death warmed over. "Don't flatter
me too much."

SB456? "Toby's harassing senators as we speak." We were shot at. "We keep
walking." You could have died. "I'll live forever at this rate." Diana
was beside herself. "I'll be beside her from now on." CJ is a different
person. "She always reacts like that. She'll bounce." Yeah, but Lisa
won't. "She's stronger than we know." She was strong. Now she doesn't
need to be. "The Amazons stick together. It's why they'll outlive us." We
have an agenda? "We have steel. Let's build the world. Ground up."

Decades. Decades Josh and I have been best friends. Conversations are
more cryptic, but they're not that different - not really. It's the
balance that's shifted. Josh is still older, still more experienced,
still politically savvy. Josh wouldn't have let me give the speech, and
Josh wouldn't have drifted so far left that our policies weren't
recognizable, but the balance is different now. Josh lets me lead.

I am the President of the United States.

"Daddy, can we go upstairs for lunch?"

I am Samuel Norman Seaborn, and in four years another man will be
President, but I'll still be Josh's best friend, and Lisa's husband, and
Donnatella's daddy. I'll still be Josiah's godfather, and Toby's most
loyal fan. I'll be Sarah's brother and Rachel's uncle and Ramon's mentor.
I'll be Claudia Jean's little brother and Zoey's protector and Charlie's
buddy.

I will still be Samuel Norman Seaborn, because I will never again lose
who I am in what I do.

I am not the President of the United States.

Not forever.

God of War: Part 32

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