King of the Mountain:
Part 1


Lynn Jepsen
Part:
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Even Brutus is fixing me with that stare. Josh and Paul have been giving
me those looks for weeks, but when the dog starts in, it's mutiny. Of
course, I wouldn't expect Brutus to side with me. He's Lisa's dog, and if
it weren't for quarantine regulations, I'm sure he'd be in England with
her right now.

CJ was feeling a little overwhelmed with the whole concept of marriage,
and although I'm not entirely sure what wisdom Lisa would have to offer,
I couldn't very well say no. Of course, that didn't exactly calm the
raging sea of rumors flying around this building. We've done everything
but issue a blanket denial, which is, obviously, hard to do when the
rumors are true.

The rap at the door drags me to my feet. Brutus growls at the door -
smart dog. That will be Al Keifer and I'm not about to waste my one
chance to shut him up for the election cycle. Margaret pops the door
open, and I understand why she didn't want to work for Josh - he couldn't
handle that amount of perkiness in the morning. "Al Keifer's here for
your eight o'clock." Let the games begin.

*

Twenty minutes and five Tylenol later, I vow to never again take a
meeting away from Josh. If he wants to alienate Al Keifer, then I'm going
to let him - it's not worth the headache. I want nothing more than to put
my head down on my desk and take a nap, but I don't think what I want
matters all that much today. Margaret and Josh have entered into this
conspiracy where they cram my schedule as full as possible, and then
schedule all my meals for me. There's no escape - it's evil I tell you.
"Governor, can I have a minute?" No, no you cannot. If William tells me
one more time that the Legislature is planning to revamp the next year's
budget, I'll scream. Yes, I realize it's something I need to take
seriously, but it's not exactly top of my list right now.

"William, if you don't finish briefing Carol, she's going to break your
kneecaps." Thank you Josh! I don't want to ring his neck, I really don't,
but I'm so close right now to ordering someone to outlaw the budget. We
don't need one, do we? Josh rolls his eyes, and sinks into the chair in
front of my desk. "You know, New Hampshire is creeping up on us. If we
announce this week, we can still get everything together in time." I nod.
I'm not worried about that. I'd announce today if he'd let me. There's
one teeny tiny little problem though. We need to create this image...
half the image is in England with CJ. "You know, with all the rumors, she
needs to be here, Sam." Great, you order her around, Josh, because if
I've learned one thing in nine years of marriage. Lisa will not be
handled.

"I've got a meeting this afternoon with Joey Lucas. She's been running
those polls and...." No. I don't want to know what the numbers say. If
they're good, there'll be more pressure to announce. If they're bad, my
day is going to get worse. There is no way knowing the new numbers will
make my day any better. The door opens without anyone knocking. Since
Josh is already here, I ask Margaret what she wants without glancing up
from the numbers Josh tossed on the desk. "Sir, you have a phone call."
Take a message. Do I look like I have time on my hands? "It's CJ." Oh,
okay.

"What did you do?" Have I mentioned CJ's not one to beat around the bush?
She's already five minutes into her lecture before I realize why I'm
being yelled at. She left. Ordinarily I'd be surprised that Lisa listened
to me, except, I didn't call her. I haven't had a chance to talk to her
all week, what with all the war room wranglings and the time difference.
Josh is trying to slink out of the room though. Guilty as charged. I
should have known. "CJ, hang on a second.... Josh Lyman, sit down!" He
shuffles back to his chair, and I'm not sure if I should ring his neck,
or if I should let CJ talk to him.

CJ. She'll have more fun yelling at him.

Josh is glued to his chair by the sheer force of will leaking through the
phone. Grabbing my jacket, I head out the door. If Lisa's coming back,
then I ought to make sure Diana's finished with that speech. Brutus
follows at my heels and a couple of the staffers step behind their desks.
He's a big dog, no doubt about it. Paul gave him to Lisa last Christmas.
What did he say.... A Russian wolf-hound. Not that I know what that is
exactly, but I know he intimidates most of the staff. Maybe I could train
him to hunt Republicans. Hey, that's not such a bad idea. I'll have Josh
look in to it.

When I appear in Diana's doorway, she practically jumps out of her chair.
"Governor, make some noise of something! Are you trying to give me a
heart attack?" I don't know. Giving staff members heart palpitations
might be on my list of things to do today. The way Josh and Margaret have
been playing with it, I couldn't tell you what's on it. "When?" Tomorrow
afternoon. It's going to be a slow news day, we'll see to that. Let's
make this the front page story. "Are we going to do the hometown
announcement, or are we holding the show outside the mansion?" No
hometown stuff. She scribbles something on a legal pad then, and doesn't
look up when she asks me about the statement for the day.

Isn't running for President a big enough statement? "Lily thinks you
should have a theme. Start it early - carry it through the campaign."
It's December. It's December and she wants us to pick a theme for the
next eleven months? What the hell! "JOSH!" I guess I was a bit too loud,
because not only does Josh appear at the door, but so does Margaret,
Carol, and Ramon. "Why the hell are we choosing a theme before we even
know who the competition is? Why are we choosing a theme before we've
decided on our issues?" They exchange looks over my head, and I stand up
slowly. Guys, talk to me here.

"Just trust me, Sam." Sure, Josh. Trust you. That's not exactly filling
me with confidence here. Diana and Carol are zoning us out, trying to
iron out the details of the press conference when Margaret drags me back
to the office. Suddenly, and not for the first time, I wonder how Leo
survived fifteen years of Margaret.

"I'm going to hire Leigh Hunter and Paul Strobe for the campaign office.
They'll be our people on the ground." Sure, Josh. Just remember, you're
responsible for this mess. He gives me this hurt look and I nod. Yeah, I
know you're not going to cut and run. I'm just a little.... "Nervous?"
I've got to fire Margaret. Why does she act like an attack dog when I
want to be interrupted, and let people wander in when we're trying to
plan an election. Lily breezes through the door. "You really ought to try
and look professional." You know, some days I'm not sure why Lily works
for me. She hasn't liked me since we had that fight about the First
Lady's polling numbers, so.... I think she just sticks around to torture
me.

"Now, how do we assure people you're not getting a divorce?"

King of the Mountain: Part 2

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